As some of you know, four years ago I stepped away from the public eye in many ways. I stopped doing videos and interviews. I stopped all coaching sessions. For over three years, in fact, I stopped talking to everyone except for Dan, my mom, and my doctor.

I was tired. Not tired like I just needed a good night’s sleep. But tired to the core of my being. My body had had enough of being on, of moving too fast, of trying to be everything to everyone, of doing way too much. And it let me know in a very dramatic way that it would no longer allow me to continue living my life at such a fast pace. It forced me to make some drastic changes in order to survive. So that’s exactly what I did.

I slowed down. I stopped working so much. I stopped saying yes when I really wanted to say no. I slept. A lot. Seriously, a lot. I moved to the beach because I knew the ocean would help me heal. I stopped worrying about what everyone else thought of me. I stopped trying to carry the world on my shoulders. I stopped taking everyone else’s pain into my own heart and body. And I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to make my own self-care a priority from that point on. I promised that I would never allow myself to get so depleted ever again.

And I kept that promise.

And slowly, over time, I began to feel like myself again. The parts that had gone missing within all of the busyness, that had been ignored for so many years, that had been set aside began to float to the surface of my life. And I started remembering what it felt like to feel human. And it felt amazing.

So amazing, in fact, that I wondered if I would stay in this cocoon of silence for the rest of my life. One year passed, and then two, and then three…and I still had no desire to return to the world that I believed had led me to such a depleted state. I was so afraid that if I stepped back into the public eye again that I would end up right where I started.

However, I forgot a pretty important piece: I was no longer the same person. Stepping away from the world changed me in ways that I’m still in the process of comprehending. What I know for sure is that it rooted me deep into my own strength and helped me gain perspective and discover what really mattered.

And because I wasn’t the same person, I remembered that there was no way that I could ever be part of the world in the same way again. And so the fear that I had been holding around whether things would just go back to the way they had been began to ease. And the deep knowing that I wouldn’t allow myself to go missing again and become depleted again helped me begin to slowly emerge back into the world…with the smallest of baby steps at first. I started opening up and allowing others into my cocoon again. I started recording videos and teaching live groups for the first time in years. I started sharing more of myself and more of my life again with others.

And while this transition has had some ups and also some downs as I found my footing in the world again, I have to say that overall I’m finding that being here truly is a completely different experience from before. Because this time, being here is on my terms. This time, I have my own back. This time, I know how to set boundaries. This time, I know myself better and accept myself for who I am. This time, I honor that I’m sensitive, introverted, and need a lot of downtime. This time, I recognize when I’m pushing a bit too hard and need to take a step back. This time, I make sure to check in with how I’m feeling and only say yes when something feels in line with my soul. This time, I’m doing my best to listen to my body and give it what it needs before it crashes.

This time, I’m living consciously. This time, I’m doing my best to show up in the world on my own terms as my truest self. And that has made all the difference.

So I’m going to do my best to continue showing up…because I’m feeling that it’s time to get back out there again in my own soft and quiet and completely authentic way. It’s my hope that we all can find this place of authenticity and awareness within our hearts. And it’s my hope that we can give ourselves permission to live our lives from this space. Because when we do, everything just feels more magical and joyful. When we do, being part of the world just feels so much easier. When we do, we get to exhale. And, to me, that relief is the most wonderful feeling I can imagine.

Hugs,