I recently invited members of the Soul Speak community to share their Soul Stories – that moment in your life when you realized there was much more to you than just a human body, when you remembered that you had a soul, and when you felt on a deep level your connection to everything in the universe. It’s that moment when you felt completely loved and filled with light.

Throughout 2014, I’ll be sharing some of the amazing stories that I received. It’s my hope that they open your heart to what’s possible and help you feel how connected we all are to each other and also to the universe. Enjoy! 🙂

The true awakening of my soul began with a knock on my door on March 22^nd, 2011. My father’s words, “Carl was killed in a car accident last night,” shattered my world. Losing my brother who was just 39 years of age is one of life’s lessons I still struggle to come to terms with.

In the initial stages of my grief, denial and shock overwhelmed me. Perhaps somebody had made a mistake. Carl was safe, alive. Everything would be alright. In life there are solutions to most problems, but here I was for the first time and there was nothing to reverse this heartbreaking tragedy. I felt helpless, frustrated, angry and devastated beyond belief.

The first few months after Carl’s passing went by in a hazy blur of grief and depression. Getting out of bed in the morning was an achievement in itself. My love for life was dimmed along with the light of my spirit.  As for my hopes and dreams for the future, I didn’t really care anymore. How was I ever going to get through the rest of my life with Carl gone?

When I am confronted with challenges in life I turn to books and resources to assist me. I spent countless hours researching grief, hoping that I may find some magic solution to help me deal with Carl’s passing. There are some incredible books and online communities that provide valuable resources and support. What I began to realize though, was that each person’s journey through grief is individual. The only way to deal with grief is to accept it, to work through the pain and confusing emotions that filled my days and haunted my dreams.  I had no choice but to face reality and accept that I can’t change the past. Nothing will ever bring Carl back.

One night while browsing the internet I discovered a site about the afterlife. For the first time since Carl’s passing I felt a glimmer of hope. What if when we die, it isn’t the end? Maybe it’s the beginning of a new journey instead.

I realized that there is so much about the universe that we don’t understand. “Why are we here? What is our purpose?  Why do we have to experience tragedy and heartache?” There has to be more to our existence than so many people spending countless hours working in jobs where they aren’t happy, most of the time for the purpose of collecting material possessions that we cannot take with us when it is our turn to leave this Earth. I have so many questions, yet the answers have proven to be difficult to find.

Often I feel Carl’s presence. There is no explanation for the double rainbows each anniversary of Carl’s passing, for the touch on my face when nobody is there, a visit from Carl in my dreams – so vivid, real and unlike any normal dream. I can’t explain an exotic fragrance that wafts through the air when there are no flowers in sight, a shadow moving in the corner of my eye, and the intense feeling of love and protection I feel during difficult times. Just because we can’t confirm beyond doubt that our journey continues after our time on Earth ends, it does not mean that life after death does not exist.

At times I find it difficult not to become overwhelmed by the sadness, tragedy, cruelty and injustice of the world that we are confronted with every day. I have to remind myself that all I can do is rise above the darkness and focus on the light.

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. – Aristotle Onassis

I am conscious of the hope that surrounds me. Change is everywhere. There is movement: so many people are more aware of their soul’s purpose, they are mindful of their actions and the impact on those around them. The wheels of positive change and mindful living are turning. Although it feels they move far too slow at times, at least they are turning.

Losing someone you love, particularly when they are taken in the prime of their life has highlighted to me how short our Earth journey can be. It has created an urgency for me to move forward, to be productive, and find my life’s purpose. In a split second, fate can intervene. It can take away your life or the life of someone you love, leaving unfinished chapters and regret.

I feel totally disconnected from the person I was before Carl’s death. On reflection it is like observing the life of a total stranger. I am grateful for my new understanding, the growth and knowledge that has developed as the result of my loss. But I would give it all away in a heartbeat if it meant seeing Carl for just one more time.

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
– Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I am still finding my way, my purpose. One step, each discovery always leads to another. One day maybe everything will fall into place and I will understand what my reason for existence is. Perhaps my soul’s purpose is not one thing in particular. My purpose may actually be a progressive journey throughout the rest of my life, however long that may be. The most I can hope for is that at the end of my life I can look back and have achieved the goal of leaving the world a better place than I found it. What is most important to me, at least for now, is that I live with awareness.

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Veronica Mather is a writer and works as a consultant within the employment industry. She is an avid reader, enjoys drawing, photography and is passionate about animal welfare. 

Thank you so much, Veronica, for sharing your heart with us. I’m so very sorry about your brother, and I’m sending you so much love.

Hugs,

P.S. – Membership to Soul Shakers is 60% off this month! I would love for you to join us! Click here to learn all about it + read some loving testimonials!