Each year I choose a word that I want to embody. A word that I want to fully integrate into my life. A word that will reflect my essence and both my inner and outer experience.
This year, my word is Love.
It wasn’t the word I planned on (that word was Balance). But it is the word that I suppose I needed the most.
It popped into my consciousness when my dog-ter, Xena, died. I was absolutely heartbroken (still am, actually), and, to be honest, I was pretty ticked off at my angels and the universe and God and my spirit guides and the vet and cancer and pretty much anything and everyone that had anything at all – even remotely – to do with her leaving me.
No, it wasn’t rational to feel this way. But that’s the thing – feelings aren’t ever rational. They just sort of come and go however they please. And in one of these periods of intense anger at pretty much the entire world, the word Love popped into my mind.
And in that moment, through my rage, I somehow felt that love was the answer to my heartbreak. I felt that while maybe it wouldn’t be in that exact moment – or even in the near future – I was eventually going to be able to shift this pain into love and gratitude.
I knew that I was somehow going to get to a space where my heart was open again and my love was pure. Even though I didn’t feel that way yet, I felt that it would be possible. And that felt like a glimmer of hope in a dark tunnel of sadness. So I clung to it. And I chose Love. And I continue to choose Love from one second to the next.
So what does that mean, exactly?
I’m sure it’s different for everyone. I used to think that fear was the opposite of love. But now I’m feeling that it’s more like closing off and shutting down are the opposite. And so choosing love means that I will stay open and feel.
It means that I will not close my heart. And while this is pretty easy to do when things are going well, it’s definitely not easy and sometimes even feels a bit masochistic in times of deep grief. I have cried every day for the past two months, and I honestly don’t see an end in sight.
And that’s okay. Because it means that I am feeling. It means that I am open. It means that I am connected to a love so deep that it can’t be broken by physical death. It means that I am alive and human and here.
Because that’s it right there. Choosing love means choosing presence. It means that we’re brave enough to show up – wherever that may be. However painful or joyous our present moment it, we’re showing up for it. That’s love to me.
Choosing love also means showing up exactly as I am. I feel a rawness in my interaction with others that wasn’t there before – an honesty and a vulnerability and also a strength that is more intense and closer to the surface. And this can be hard to show up with – especially when I feel my resistance is down. But I choose love, and so I share my truth in ways that I’ve never done before – in ways that are opening my heart and allowing love to flow.
Choosing love means continuing to show up in the world with a pure heart – not one that is closed off and jaded. I can definitely see how appealing it is to build walls and shy away from living fully. I’ve been there, and I’ve done that. And honestly it wasn’t very fun. So I’m consciously choosing to stay awake and stay present – no matter what I’m feeling or where I am.
Choosing love means allowing myself to receive love – both from myself and also from others. It means recognizing that I could use some support and then opening up and taking it in.
Choosing love means forgiving others. It means practicing loving compassion when I feel hurt. It means showing up and communicating my feelings from a space of understanding.
Choosing love means staying in direct communication with my spiritual team. It means staying open to hearing them and receiving signs.
Choosing love means remaining grateful for each experience that I am experiencing – no matter what it is.
Choosing loves means inviting laughter and joy into my heart, even when I’m feeling sad. It means not giving up on life. It means embracing this human existence and honoring it.
Choosing love is all of these things wrapped up into one big present. A present of presence. 🙂
So Love it is. For me. And hopefully for you.
It doesn’t have to be your word for the year for you to choose it, too. I’m sure your other word won’t mind – there’s always enough room for a little more love. That, I’m sure we can all agree on.
Let’s choose love together.
Hugs,
I’m Honored that you’ve shared this us. Love is also one of my words this year. I have to ask you doy know when Xena was born? Either Spirit or Xena is asking to link up your numbers. If you have this I can answer the msg they are asking me to deliver. What a magical blessing of love and healing that wolud be. The req. Us loud & clear now that I type it too. Our four legged family is w/in All our Relations. Until then, my soulsister, you have my support & full faith in you & ‘love’. Find that info & contact me. It will help the healing started on a much different level. Love & light, Sharri
We use to have a dog of the same breed as your dogster. He came to us somewhat like yours did. A neighbor had Rambo (a big ol’ Teddy bear) & his brother. After some months or maybe a year, he ran off, was adopted by another family…. After a year or so with them, he found his way to us. We put an ad in the paper, & the family he was with came & claimed him. They saw that he’d gotten us wrapped around his little “finger”, & brought him back. He’d remembered his name as Rambo, & settled right in. We asked our neighbor if they wanted him back, but they gave him to us, too. Th dog was a puppy at heart his whole life, up to the very last week.
The point? Ya, we still miss him sometimes. I try to remind myself of this one thing: he came into our lives to teach us how to love. Dogs don’t need to learn it, that’s why they’re not here as long as we humans. They take their turns, then they share their love from the other side.
What a wonderful and inspiring post, thank you. I’ve never heard of the concept of choosing a word to embody for the year, but I like it a lot and I love your choice of word and the reasons behind it. Thank you for sharing with us. I, too, choose to be open and present and show up in love in my interactions with myself and also in my interactions with myself, which is an area I particularly need to work on. Wishing you love and peace in your heart.
“Love” was my guide word for the year 2013. I could not have made a better choice, one that benefited me and all with whom I came in contact. Though it’s not my official word for 2014, I have carried over that choice to continue to be loving and grateful for all that I am and have.
Love and blessings, Jodi, and may our God heal and comfort you at this season of your life.
Love was the word I chose for 2013! I didn’t mean it in the romantic sense, not at all, and I was actually probably rather cynical about that after ending a long term marriage. I just wanted my heart to feel open and full~ like it does when I laugh with my kids or play with my dogs. At one point, I thought I should change the word to something else, and eventually, I kind of forgot about it until I started thinking about 2014. Then I realized how much that word ~ love~ had come to fruition in my life, even when I had put it on the back burner, just having sent the intention into the universe seems to have made miracles happen, and even in the midst of all sorts of crazy life drama, I feel very, very loved. Best wishes for lots of LOVE in your life!
Yes, luv is the word I choose 4 this yr & every yr 4 the rest of my life…..i am only now beginning 2 open my heart & i feel it expanding me. The experiences i am now receiving are truly remarkable. i am grateful 4 what the universe now presents 2 me.
Love it! On a similar vein, my focus this year is self-compassion. I’m approaching it more like the “2014 Self-Compassion Project.” That means reading about it, studying it, putting what I learn to use (embodying it), learning from that experience, and sharing what I learn along the way.