An Extra Special Guest Post by Dan Teck

I’m super excited to share this post by my favorite person in the entire world: my husband, Dan. Many of you already know him (yay!), so you know how special he truly is. If you’re just now meeting him for the first time, you’re in for a treat! He’s brilliant, kind, wise, witty, compassionate, loving, silly, and loving all wrapped up into one beautiful soul/human. I adore him, and I can’t wait for you to read his post!

Here it is:

I don’t usually say these four words out loud, but I think them almost every day:

…if you say so.

These words pop into my head almost every time I read or hear people say things like:

• “I’m not very creative.” (…if you say so.)
• “I’m not good at following through with my ideas.” (…if you say so.)
• “Relationships take a lot of hard work.” (…if you say so.)

What do all of these statements have in common?

• They’re declarations–about someone’s life or about the world in general.
• They’re only true subjectively (for the person saying them), but they don’t have to be.
• They can all be changed–if the person decides to declare something different (perhaps even the exact opposite).

Maybe in your experience, these things have been true. (I admit that the example about follow-through comes from my own personal experience–more on that later.) But the key question isn’t whether or not these things have been true for you, it’s: Do you want them to be true? Or: Would you be happier if the opposite (or something very different) were true?

Do you even have a choice in the matter?

Ruling By Decree

In ancient times (and, in some places, still today) kings and queens ruled by decree. They would declare something to be true, and so it was. This applied to matters of law, social customs, and sometimes even units of measurement!

That’s some kind of power, huh?

But guess what: YOU have that same power in your own life. No, you don’t determine how many inches are in a foot, but it’s amazing how much of your reality you DO determine–simply by declaring it to be so. To a large extent, you rule your own life by decree!

So why would you decree things that don’t serve you? Why would you reinforce a life-rule such as “I’m not very creative” or “I always struggle with money” if you want the opposite to be true?

Think about it: A king wouldn’t decree that the entire kingdom must disrespect him. A queen wouldn’t decree that everyone in the palace is required to ignore her wishes. They declare rules that serve their best interest (and, in the case of benevolent leaders, the best interests of those they supposedly serve!).

So, since you rule your own life by decree, why not be a benevolent ruler? Why not declare personal edicts that serve you?

Changing the Rules

So, what if you examine your declarations (or self-proclaimed “rules”) and realize that some of them don’t serve you? How do you start the process of changing them?

As is usually the case, the first step is awareness. Just realizing that many (perhaps even most) statements are optional decrees sets the wheels of change in motion. It’s often easier to spot in others, but this process isn’t about pointing fingers or trying to “fix” other people. (Unless they want you to. For instance, I have several coaching clients who emphatically reassure me that they welcome me pointing out their disempowering “decrees”–but in most cases, we’re probably better off keeping our “if you say so” to ourselves!)

The next step is to realize when YOU are making a decree about your own life (especially those all-important “I am…” statements that reflect your self-identity).

And the third step is to make a conscious, positive declaration about the person you’d like to be and the life you’d like to live.

I Do Declare!

One of my mentors, Joe Rubino, teaches that there are two ways to live: 1. out of disempowering evidence from your past, or 2. out of an empowering declaration of who you decide to be–in the present and moving into the future.

Clearly, the second option better serves you, your dreams, and your highest self. But how do you start living out of declaration?

The good news is: You’re already doing it! Every time you make a statement about yourself, your life, or how you see the world, you’re exercising the power of declaration.

Now, the key is to match your habitual declarations with your conscious, positive declarations about who you want to be, the life you want to lead, and the world you want to live in.

Here’s an example from my own life:

I’m Not a Finisher

As I mentioned earlier, I used to buy into (and repeat) the declaration, “I’m not good at following through with my ideas.” Over time, however, I realized two things: 1. This belief wasn’t serving me (it was merely adding to my frustration and to my growing pile of partially finished projects), and 2. It was, in fact, a belief–an optional statement that I didn’t have to accept. I could change it at will, which is just what I decided to do.

It didn’t change overnight; it’s been an ongoing process. However, here are a few steps that helped me:

• Affirmations – On January 1, 2013, I wrote the word FINISH in bright blue marker at the top of my bathroom mirror–where I see it many times each day, embedding it deeper and deeper into my psyche (and my life). This, combined with the affirmations I regularly tell myself, has triggered a huge shift for this year…which I plan to continue into 2014 and beyond!
• Evidence – I also created an “Evidence Board” where I pin up evidence of my ability to finish projects–such as diplomas, certificates, and covers of completed books. This way, if I ever catch myself slipping back into old, disempowering declarations, I can turn to evidence of the person and the life I’m consciously creating.
• Process – Another helpful approach has been to acknowledge that this is a process. Therefore, rather than beating myself up about the occasional unfinished project, I pat myself on the back for the progress I am making. I’ve also revised my affirmations to reflect this–for instance, changing, “I finish everything I start” (which just seemed to set off inner resistance and debates in my mind) to “I’m getting consistently better at finishing what I start”–a declaration that every part of me can get on board with.

Most of all, what’s changed for me this year is the realization that most of what I used to take as objective facts are actually subjective beliefs. This is especially true for beliefs about myself, how I live, and how I see the world.

I’ve also realized that our beliefs determine our reality, and we get to choose our beliefs–so it certainly behooves us to choose beliefs that support our highest vision of ourselves!

So, what do you say?

Let’s return to our initial phrase: …if you say so.

Taking the view that much of what you say becomes true for you, ask yourself: What do I want to be true? What do I want to reinforce? What do I want to decree?

To help you with this process, try this experiment: For the rest of the day (or week or longer), whenever you make a declaration (about yourself, about your life, or about life in general) tack on “…if you say so” to the end of the sentence. Then ask yourself: Does that make me happy? During the experiment (and hopefully beyond), only say and write things that you want to be true.

I’m not suggesting that you drive yourself nuts by self-editing (or censoring) every word that comes out of your mouth or your pen (or keyboard, tablet, etc.)–I’m merely suggesting that you are powerful beyond measure. And much of your power resides in your words, your declarations.

You’re already using this power. Why not use it for your benefit? Why not let your words serve you, reinforce your positive declarations, and create the life you desire?

Why not decree what you wish to be?

…

Dan Teck is the lucky-ducky husband of Jodi Chapman! 🙂 He’s also a Certified Life-Optimization Coach, Certified Law of Attraction Master Practitioner, author of the personal-growth blog, Halfway up the Mountain, and co-author of the Soulful Journals series and several ecourses (written with Jodi). Through his books, videos, workshops, and private coaching sessions, Dan has helped thousands of people move into the life of their dreams…while feeling grateful for the life they already have! He would love to help you experience greater joy, reach your goals, and turn your dreams into reality!

Dan’s new ecourse, Manifest Anything in 3 Easy Steps, just came out, which we’re both super excited about!

This course empowers you to live your dream-life in any or all areas, achieve specific goals, and enjoy the process–starting immediately!

It’s a pay-what-you-want course, too!

Click here for details and to sign up!

Please spread the love by sharing this on Facebook and Twitter!

Hugs,