I have a tooth that has been giving me trouble for a long while. For longer than I care to admit, I tried to ignore it. I truly didn’t want to go to the dentist (who does?), and so I buried myself deep in work and hoped it would just go away on its own. It didn’t.
When I realized that it wasn’t going to heal itself by my ignoring it, I took a different strategy.
I went to the dentist.
He said that it needed to be pulled. I definitely wasn’t ready for this. My ego wasn’t ready for this. How could I lose a tooth at such a young age? How could I have let this happen? How could I have neglected myself for so long? How?
I couldn’t do it, though. I needed some time to think about it. And so I went home and cried – both for my poor tooth and also for all that this symbolized in my life: how far I had gotten from my center, my soul, and my essence to have let this go on for so long.
And then I went back to ignoring it. I buried myself back in work and wished it would just fix itself on its own.
And then, in a moment of clarity (and pain), I realized what this was really about:
Not being willing to let it go.
Let go of the tooth and also my painful past.
Because I realized that this pain wasn’t just about the tooth. So often, our soul communicates with us through our body. What can start with a whisper (a cold or a minor ache) can quickly turn into a major problem if we don’t listen and pay attention to the message beneath the physical symptoms.
Several months ago, I was in an extraordinary amount of tooth pain, and (rather than go to the dentist) I pulled an Angel Card. I wanted to see if there was a message for why I was feeling such discomfort all of a sudden. The cards that came up were Forgiveness and Freedom. The day that the pain escalated also was the anniversary of the day my stepdad died. And because I am still processing and healing from our time together, it suddenly made perfect sense to me that my body would react in such a strong way.
My beautiful husband helped me see that ignoring the pain and holding onto this tooth – something that clearly needed to be healed – was so similar to how I have been holding onto the pain with my relationship with my stepdad. And if I was able to forgive him, I would find the freedom that I have been searching for. If I was able to let the tooth – and all of the pain that went with it – go, then maybe, just maybe, I would also be able to let the pain from my childhood go as well.
When I received this message from the cards, the pain immediately went away – thankfully.
But the swelling was still there, so I made an appointment to see a different dentist – just to get a second opinion. And I went about my life – thankfully pain free.
Until a few days ago. I was just days away from the appointment, and the pain came back with a vengeance. So, I went back to the Angel Cards to see what the message was. And again, the Forgiveness card came out. And with it, I kept hearing the words, “Let it go” in my head.
So this morning, after months of pain and sadness and grieving over this tooth and my past and all of the ways that I have suffered as a result of both of them, I let go. I was prepared to say goodbye to this sweet tooth of mine – a tooth that has served me well over the years. I was prepared to let go of the pain both from the tooth and also from my childhood. Whatever the dentist needed to do, I was ready to do it. (Not fully excited about it – but ready.)
I began to let go of all of the emotions that were wrapped so tightly around this pain.
And I surrendered.
I truly surrendered.
And then the sweetest gift happened. The dentist said that I would only need a root canal. It could be saved. After checking and double checking with him and making absolutely sure that I heard him right, I breathed the biggest sigh of relief and gratitude.
Not only could my tooth be saved, but so could I.
We could both go on living without pain. We could be free of the toxins and yuck that had surrounded us for so, so long.
We were free.
My root canal is scheduled, and I have never been so excited for a dental appointment in my life.
And this truly brings tears to my eyes.
What pain are you holding onto – either a physical pain or an emotional pain (or both)? Would you be willing to let it go? To give it up to something bigger than you – to allow it to move through you and out of you? Would you?
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You’ve interpreted this so beautifully, Jodi! Peace and freedom to you!
I need to get to the dentist too. I don’t know why I am procrastinating over this. And I only need to get a cavity filled!
Hugs, Vidya
Jodi, great explanation of the link between your emotions and the physical manifestation of pain!
Funnily enough, I’ve been going trough almost exactly the same stuff and after many weeks of suffering pain I finally visited my dentist last week. He’s numbed the pain and suggested that it if the pain didn’t go away, I would need root canal treatment.
Luckily the pain’s gone now:)
Jodi, I wish you a full recovery -enjoy the experience and the journey!
What wondeful connections you have made here Jodi. So lovely the message you have gotten from this. The story resonated with me as well as I went through a similar expereince, putting off the inevitable and finally getting a root canal. Wishing you the best.
Your story was deep and enlightening.keep up your rewarding work.
I love you Jodi! Thank you for sharing your story. Recently I had a health screening (after waiting far too long). I became fraught with anxiety when after several weeks I hadn’t heard back about my test results. I finally called my nurse practitioner and found that the diagnostic lab had lost my lab work. If I’d called sooner I could have saved myself a lot of anxiety. With some extra attention, the lab located my file and my test results came back normal. Healing gifts come when we Trust and Surrender.
Jodi,
Beautiful story — Isn’t it something how our body takes emotional pain and turns it into physical pain? Sometimes we just hang on and forget we’re hanging on to something, and then it gets buried deep within. It’s not until we search for it, like you did, that it comes to the surface, still painful. I am glad you discovered this, and decided to let it go. Just a wonderful post! Good luck with your appointment when it comes. I am sure the physical and mental relief will be greatly welcomed! 🙂
Wow Jodi, thank you for sharing this and making such a profond connection. You’ve opened my eyes and shined new light on my own situation. In a nut shell, this year has been all about forgiveness, trust and spiritual awakening for me. I’ve been processing a lot from my childhood and much like you, I developed a toothache out of the blue, which ended up in a Root Canal and now I’m scheduled for yet another! My Endodontist told me that all the grinding and clenching I’m doing due to stress, is “stressing” out my teeth, ultimately leading to Root Canals due to my large fillings! I’ve been sharing my journey on my Blog Moonlight Muse. You’ve enlightened me to my own story and what is it that I’m not letting go of…thank you.
Jodi, my issue is with my thyroid, I am very relieved to have a date scheduled to have it removed in 5 weeks and counting down with a smile. As odd as this sounds, With all that goes with the throat chakra so goes an old way of life. I am using this time to find my voice, purpose etc. Hubby and I both are already working on improving some of the foods we take in. Working on this blog has been more challenging than I thought… as I progress with results etc.. the harder it gets to share, but I will. I hope that one day it will give someone else some comfort when they are on a simlar journey with their thyroid. But I know this too is part of the “working through” and resolving several other health issues as well. Thank you for the sharing, it allowed me to see with more clairity why I have to “wait” this long for the sugery!!!
What a beautifully told story of letting go, Jodi! You’re so right, that our body signals to us so much of what we’re holding on. And, when we let go, what we fear goes away, as in the case of your tooth. I’m still challenged by that, as indicated by my persistent back pain for 2 weeks and counting. Thank you for this very honest and inspiring post. It’s a great service to those in your circle. Love you so much, Jodi!
I love how you’ve found a blessing in the ordinary – the painful ordinary at that. This is such a beautiful example of mindfulness and listening to our bodies for something deeper than just physical pain. Kudos to you, Jodi, and I’m so glad you were able to let go!
Absolutely amazing post, Jodi! Pain is never fun, but we can, as you so beautifully did here, learn so much about ourselves in the process of our suffering. I’m glad you decided to “let it go” and then learned you could keep your tooth after all. Such a blessing!
What great insights and interpretations Jodi. You are so in touch with the divine you, that it takes my breath away.
I absolutely agree with you that the feelings we hang on to show up in our physical world in so many ways, especially and including our bodies. Thanks for sharing your grace with us all. ♥
Love Elle
xoxo
Jodi, this is too perfect. I’ve been thinking about writing a post about my own recent tooth pain. I never did find out exactly what I let go of. It was an old, ancient, deeply rooted family belief that had to do with money. My teeth made me pay attention (nothing says howdy like tooth pain, eh?) and the pain was so intense that I finally had to let go. Up until this happened, I didn’t even know I was hanging on. But oh, afterwards, I realized the relief of it. And then, just like you, I manifested all the right people and my teeth (two) were saved. Everything got minimized. The drama went away.
I might still write it up, but I love your story. Not sure I can top that, he, he.
Huge hugs!
Melody
ha, loved reading this story Jodi :)…….great metaphor/analogy…….doctor/dentist visits are a trigger for my anxiety…………I actually was at the dentist this week (just for a regular cleaning) and I was so calm, I actually almost fell asleep! There’s was totally something I let go of there……..maybe I was just ready to let it go………it’s amazing what happens when we surrender/accept.
much love!
gina 🙂
Aye, I am in tears writing this. My mouth is in such a state of disrepair that an upper denture plate is necessary. It started off with innocent procrastination, but after succumbing to my anxiety over and over I slipped right back into a long held phobia of anything dental. Apparently, so I’m told, our whole family’s teeth are bad and I was hiving root canals on my baby teeth before age five. Those early experiences traumatized me.
I even went through with the referral exam and then paid out of pocket for Aspen to make me an upper plate. But, when I went to the oral surgeon, it went terribly wrong and instead of stopping (just the initial numbing shots had me gagging and feeling like I was dying) like I asked them to, the doc and four dental assistants physically restrained me and left me covered with bruises from face to ankles. I spent the next three days in a sobbing daze where old painful memories were flashing back unbidden.
Then, a few months ago I finally worked up the nerve to set an appointment with an office that assured m
Ha ha, I know it’s not the point of your post but I had a similar experience recently. But my tooth was cracked right in half and although I would have loved a root canal (boy, it’s all relative, isn’t it?!), it had to be pulled. But I did grieve it, just like you did, even though you did it prematurely. But I truly was grateful at the same time to be in a part of the world where I could have such a procedure done, and with absolutely no pain. Amazing.
I pretty much always ask myself what a physical pain is reflecting in my psyche. And I can almost always make an intuitive and logical connection to something more subtle, that is then manifesting in my body.
Nice post, Jodie, and enjoy your root canal. 😉
Continued, apologies, still getting used to a tablet touchpad. So, a few months back, that new oral surgeon gave me a bunch of grief because of my history with addiction, telling me that he refused to use pain medicine in the conscious sedation and that I would be awake but ‘relaxed’ for the extensive procedure spanning hours. That, or go to the hospital OR and go fully under. It’s crazy how hard getting my teeth taken care of is being, both internally and externally.
A word to the wise… cavities develop long before we can actually feel them. Floss regularly and get to as many dental cleanings as your insurance will pay for.
Live + Light
Brandi H
Your story touches me on three levels. For me, teeth are definitely messengers. For my whole life teeth have taken center stage in my stress dreams. Also, I have been putting off going to the dentist since I was pregnant (children almost three now). Procrastination over. Thanks! And I’ve learned from your bravery and listening.
With gratitude,
Crystal
in 2008 i went through hell alot of bad luck but i was recovering from an operation and as i wasnt strong enough to force my young son to go to school i lost him through the family courts and the way they went about it all was all lies and made up things by professional people that it should be illegal for them to still practice. they may as well have blindfolded me and had me shot at dawn the pain was so bad.worst my brother and sister who i hadnt had much to do with went against me and helped me loose my 9 year old why?mostly jealousy over my mother. even through all this i couldnt hate them or the authorities as i dont hate or get green with jealousy and it feels brilliant. anna
Jodi, you speak from the soul, and it comes through in your brilliant writing! You inspire me, I always enjoy reading (and growing) with your posts! 😀