Shared Wisdom Guest Post
Featuring Bobbi Emel from The Bounce Blog

The next message is always right where you are. ~ Ram Dass

First, a story . . .

I was sitting on the patio at Starbuck’s the other day passing time before I met a friend for lunch. I had a book with me and was trying to read it but, to tell the truth, my mood was down and I felt distracted from reading by my inner melancholy. Having lived with depression for a long time, my mind resorted to its gamut of self-recriminations: “You shouldn’t be feeling this way.” “Everything is fine, just stop it.” “You get gloomy too often for no good reason.”

Finally, I caught myself, took a breath to let go of the negative thoughts, and went back to my book and mocha. A flash of pink caught my eye as the patio door opened in front of my table. A young woman came out with her coffee in one hand, a diaper bag in the other, and a tiny baby girl in a pink onesie carried by a frontpack on the young woman’s chest.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” the young woman asked an older man sitting by himself at a table. “Go ahead,” he nodded. She sat down to my right across an aisle. I looked over.

I couldn’t help but smile. The baby was so tiny, perhaps just a few weeks old. Her little head had wobbled gently from side to side in time with mom’s steps. Her eyes opened wide as she tried to focus on the objects surrounding her. “Cute,” I thought, going back to my book.

After reading a few pages, I became aware that the young woman and older man were starting to converse. First in short sentences with long gaps between them and then the conversation slowly picked up. They were talking about the baby, of course. The man alternated between speaking gently to the baby and chatting with the young woman about how babies are at that age. She glowed and bounced the baby gently as he cooed to the child, then eagerly shared her experience of being a mother for the last few weeks.

I realized how much I was enjoying eavesdropping on their interaction. The tiny baby, so full of life and potential. The two adults, strangers, but effortlessly connecting through the shared experience of parenting. I always love watching the magic of these moments unfold.

I became aware of something else: my gloominess was gone. I had stayed present in the moment and my perspective had changed; my blue mood erased by a flash of pink and the choice to indulge in a special encounter between strangers.

The magic of the moment

After pondering this wonderful moment, I realized that there were three things that lifted my mood:

1. Noticing

Even though my mood was depressed, I still allowed myself to notice and really see what was happening around me.

I felt grateful for this because it’s easy for me to get very involved with my own inner world and become stuck there, chewing on my own cud of negative thinking.

Do you ever become so mired in your internal workings that you are blinded to anything outside of yourself?

The practice here is to remember to notice. Even if you are feeling depressed, or anxious, or stressed, remember to take a breath and look around for a moment. See what you notice.

Sometimes it’s nature you might notice: a fresh breeze in the air, birds singing a pretty song, wildflowers blooming in the spring.

Other times you might see something that happens every day that you’ve never really noticed before. Perhaps you are looking at your two co-workers smiling and laughing during a break. Instead of being envious of their good moods, really see them.

Isn’t it a miraculous thing that two different people can enjoy such an easy camaraderie? Have you ever noticed before how one of your co-worker’s eyes absolutely light up when she’s laughing and the other co-worker has that infectious grin?

Make a practice of noticing the tiny moments of magic in your day.

2. Allowing

Once you notice and really see what is around you, allow it to penetrate the wall erected by your negative thoughts or mood.

It’s one thing to notice a special moment, but if you have something invested in your bad mood – like getting attention or feeling sorry for yourself – you might not allow the magic to happen.

Ask yourself if you really want to feel better. If not, see what you’re getting by staying in the emotional space you’re in. Maybe it’s okay to be there awhile.

If not, let yourself be moved and changed by what you are noticing.

3. Staying

Staying in the moment is a hard practice for me, but one I am trying to do more and more often.

As we all know, feeling depressed is very much about the past and being worried or anxious is about the future. The ability to be in the present can relieve those emotions for awhile and give you an opportunity to make any changes that will help you handle them should they return.

The other aspect of staying is to choose to stay in the magic created in the moment you noticed. I could have gone back to my blue mood if I’d really tried, but I chose to let that mood go and stay with the warm feeling produced by two strangers and a baby at a coffee shop.

How about you? Will you choose to notice, allow, and stay the next time a magical moment comes up for you? Please comment below!

***

Psychotherapist Bobbi Emel specializes in helping people face life’s significant challenges and regain their resiliency. In addition to seeing clients in her private practice, Bobbi is a well-regarded speaker and writer. You can find her blog at http://www.TheBounceBlog.com and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful, insightful words here on Soul Speak, Bobbi! I am learning more and more that the present moment carries all of life’s magic. The tricky part is to stay in it. And articles such as this are great reminders to help all of us do exactly that. I’m so grateful for you!

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