It’s Wednesday, which means it’s time to write a post about gratitude!
You can read my previous posts by clicking here.
I was watching Oprah’s amazing Lifeclass the other night, and she was talking about holding onto the past and not being able to forgive and move on. She told a story of being so angry at a woman that somehow had wronged her. She was standing on one side of the street and saw her going into Tiffany’s on the other side. This woman looked happy – she didn’t seem to have a care in the world. And for a long time, Oprah had been angry and carrying this grudge around. In that moment she realized that hanging onto this hurt wasn’t hurting this other person – it was only hurting herself.
I know that one of my biggest lessons in this lifetime is learning to forgive others who have hurt me. Letting go doesn’t always come naturally to me, especially when I feel that I have been wronged in some way. I am not the type of person to rub it in their face – but I am the type of person to leave the friendship/relationship and cut them out of my life completely (depending on how severe the hurt was).
I had an Oprah moment the other day that truly made me stop and take notice. I was deeply hurt by someone a year ago – I felt betrayed by his actions, and while I stood up for myself and have had nothing to do with this person since, I still feel that charged anger when I think of him from time to time. I received an email a few days ago stating that he wanted to connect on a social networking site. My first reaction was to feel baffled and completely shocked. I couldn’t believe that he contacted me without an apology – as though nothing had happened between us. He clearly had moved on – or maybe wasn’t even aware that I was upset – I truly don’t know. Once I got over the shock and disbelief, I realized that my hanging onto this anger was only hurting me. He clearly wasn’t hanging onto it – why was I?
I have found that forgiving someone for their actions in no way means that what they did was okay. For me, it means that I am okay with moving on – knowing that everyone makes mistakes – we are all human, after all. We are all here doing the best we can with the tools that we have. As Oprah says, “When we know better, we do better.” By forgiving someone, I am accepting that the past happened exactly the way it happened, and there is nothing I can do to change it. I can choose to make peace with it and move on. And while I don’t want to have this person in my life at the moment, I can begin to release this emotional charge that he has over me. I can begin to let go of it – I can begin to move on. And for that I am grateful.
If you haven’t seen Oprah’s Lifeclasses yet, I wholeheartedly recommend them. They truly are life changing – each one carries with it an important lesson that we all can relate to. There is always more to learn, and I’m so grateful when we are able to show up as our authentic selves and support each other along the journey.
