I’ve been going back and forth on a decision for months. One minute, I move forward with it. And the next I step back.
I’ve gone within and asked my soul what I was meant to do. And I’ve also looked to others to help me gain clarity and grounding around this situation.
And still, nothing came to me. It all felt murky and unclear. Even now, as I’m writing this, I’m still not sure what I’m going to do. I’m still going back and forth. I still have half of my energy moving toward this decision and half of my energy moving away from it.
And that keeps me exactly where I am and where I have been: at a standstill. I am unable to move forward and unable to let it go completely.
I just pulled an angel card, and it said “Decide.”
To be honest, this wasn’t the sort of guidance that I was looking for. I wanted a firm “yes” or “no” with regard to this decision. Whether it came from inside my heart or outside from another, I wanted to know without a shadow of a doubt that this path was right for me. I wanted to have complete certainty that if I moved forward, it would be everything that I imagined it would be. I wanted to eliminate the unknown. I wanted to skip ahead and see the ending before the beginning had even begun.
And what I’m realizing is that life just doesn’t work this way. The universe isn’t set up this way. Part of the fun is going along for the ride. Part of the journey is taking one step forward without knowing exactly where you’ll land.
I have to decide. Because being in this standstill is most likely causing more pain than either choosing to move forward with this decision or choosing to let it go would.
And isn’t that funny in a way? I’m trying to eliminate pain for myself, and I’ve ended up creating more in the process.
I’m seeing more and more as I go through this Earth journey that there are truly no right or wrong decisions. They will each lead us exactly where we need to go – sometimes we will learn valuable lessons, sometimes we will receive beautiful gifts, and sometimes both. But, whether we choose to take one route or another, we are making a decision and standing strong in that decision. That’s the key. We are taking action or non-action. But we are doing something.
Nothing ever, ever, ever will happen if we stay in this standstill. Nothing ever will change. We’ll never know how things may have ended up or whether they would have been amazing or hard or painful or gratifying if we don’t make a decision.
If we try to protect ourselves from making the wrong choice, we will only end up causing ourselves more pain.
That’s what I’m learning. It’s been months that I’ve been living with one foot in this decision and the other foot firmly planted outside of it.
So, what I’m going to do is decide – one way or another – to either move forward or completely let it go. No more indecision. No more wishy-washiness. No more sitting on the fence of my own life. It’s up to me to make a decision. And I’m the only one who can.
Is there any decision that you’re sitting on? Any part of your life where you’re on the fence and just waiting for a clear sign to help you see which way to go? Would you be willing to choose one way and move forward – even if you don’t have a clear knowing about whether it’s “right” or not? Would you be willing to trust that even if it doesn’t go the way you hoped, it wasn’t a mistake – that you learned and grew along the way? And that not making a decision would prevent you from this growth?
I hope we can all do this together. It comes down to trusting our hearts and deciding – even if we aren’t completely sure. It comes down to moving forward and clearing up space for new ideas and new opportunities to come in. It comes down to aligning with the universal flow again – rather than stopping it completely with our inability to decide.
I’m ready to decide. I’m ready to align all of my energetic circuits and move forward with this decision. Yes, I’m ready.
And I hope you are, too. We’ve got this. We really do.
P.S. – Thank you to everyone who has signed up for our Soulful Journaling Ecourse so far this month! You can pay whatever you want for it through the end of the month! Please click here for details!