I was feeling extremely overwhelmed the other day. My sweetie, Dan, and I are coming down the home stretch with our 365 Ways to Connect with Your Soul book edits and have been pushing extra hard to make sure it’s all ready to go to the printer by the end of the month. We haven’t taken a day off in weeks and have been working much more each day than my body is used to. I could feel that I was going on nothing but fumes, and I didn’t feel like there was time to recharge – just too much to do.
I now see that I was in a perfect space – in the midst of this chaos and overwhelm – for something to knock me off center, which it did. While the vast majority of communication and interaction surrounding this book has been loving and sweet and supportive and appreciative (which I’m so grateful for!), there have been a few blips here and there where I’ve received emails that weren’t loving or kind or supportive. (Thankfully just a few, which I’m also grateful for!)
However, in my completely exhausted state, the few that weren’t so loving felt huge and expansive and seemed to be ballooning quickly in my mind and were quickly taking over my world. I found myself focusing solely on them. For every 100 emails that I received that were filled with love, I fixated on the 1 or 2 that weren’t. I couldn’t get them out of my mind, and I found my entire body was shaking after reading them. I did my best to remedy each situation, to raise myself into a higher vibration before responding, and to make sure everyone was happy. And, for the most part, one way or another, everything was resolved. And yet, I was still holding onto the anger and hurt.
My first response when I feel upset is to retreat. I have all sorts of grandiose thoughts about how I’m just going to pull away from public life completely, become a beach bum, and never interact with anyone again. I am so sensitive that it can be really hard to be part of this world sometimes (oftentimes). So, I went to my bed, pulled the covers up, and cried my frustration out. And, after an hour or so, I heard my soul speak to me, in the most loving way.
It told me that retreating wasn’t the answer right now – not for a long-term solution, at least. It said that the real growth would come from learning to be part of this world and finding ways to not take everything in quite so deeply. To focus on all of the love that pours into my world each day instead of fixating on the few exceptions when things aren’t sent with love. To feel immense gratitude for this book and for all of the beautiful souls who are in it – knowing that we’ll be spreading so much love around the world through our words. And to remember that when I’m tired, things always feel bigger and less manageable and insurmountable. To give myself permission when I’m feeling this way, to simply step away for a little while so that I can rest, recharge, and bring my vibration back to its natural state, which is one of gratitude and love.
I fell asleep feeling much more at peace, much happier, and so relieved. The next night, I saw my angel dog-ter, Xena, in a dream. She was so happy – running around, playing, and smiling the biggest grin I’ve ever seen.
When I woke up, I felt much lighter and freer. I felt like I had been given the gift of perspective and wisdom from my soul. I had been given the gift to allow myself to choose my response – to allow any negativity that comes into my life to flow right on out – rather than hanging onto it and carrying it around with me. If I’m going to carry anything, let it be the love and light that flows in each day – let myself be surrounded and protected by it. And allow myself to stay in each moment with both feet in – fully present, fully engaged, and fully grounded.
So that’s what I’m doing. And ever since my focus has shifted and I’ve taken some time to consciously raise my vibration, I’m feeling so much better. I’m more rooted and more present and more filled with love, which always feels good.
Now, I can finish this book from this high state of being, and that energy will flow into the book and expand all around the world when it comes out. Whew!