Let’s Stop Rallying

body-and-soulOver the last few months, I’ve been realizing more and more how I’m human.

My soul knows this. My body knows this. And yet, a huge part of me hadn’t yet caught up to this fact – the part that thought I could do it all and continue to push myself harder and harder. The part of me that both naively and arrogantly assumed I would always have the reserves and the energy without ever needing to take time to recharge. The part that thought I was immune to the things that humans needed: balance, self care, nurturing. You know – that part.

Yikes. I am currently in the midst of a huge reality check/wake-up call that has forced me to admit that I am, in fact, human. And, to be honest, it hasn’t been a lot of fun to have to come back down to Earth.

My adrenals have decided that they are tired – really tired. And they have made it clear that if I wasn’t going to slow down, they were going to force me to. I felt the warnings, and I saw the signs that asked me to slow down, take care of myself, just be. But I ignored them and assumed that my body would rally once again – that it would support me and swoop in and help me keep going.

I mean, this was the routine throughout my life. I pushed myself beyond what was human, expected more from myself than was oftentimes possible, and when I felt tired or worn out or overwhelmed, I pushed even harder. And for years my body supported me in this lifestyle. For years, my adrenals kicked in and got me through the late nights and the working around the clock and the daily stress that became such a normal part of my routine that I didn’t even see it as stress. And I just assumed that I would always be able to live this way.

And then eight months ago, my dog-ter, Xena, died. And because of the way she died (having a violent seizure in the middle of the night), I wasn’t able to sleep without reliving it for months. And I haven’t slept through the night since. Through this intense grief, my body helped me remember the grief that it felt for the kids that I would never have. Because in my head I knew that this was right for me, but my hormones weren’t as sure. And this all spiraled me into a grieving, non-sleeping cycle that piled on top of years of caretaking and overworking and overstressing. And all of that landed me here – to a crash unlike any other that I’d been through before.

Much to my surprise (and anger), the rallying didn’t kick in this time. My adrenals were tired. They were on vacation, and it felt like the only choice I had was to join them (after much kicking and screaming and pleading, to be quite honest).

This is my wake-up call. This is that moment when I come back down to Earth and embrace my humanness. This is that moment where I share my truth and my vulnerability and let it be known that I am doing the best that I can.

Because here’s where I am right now: I am oftentimes so tired that I can hardly get out of bed each morning. I am so tired that taking a shower oftentimes feels overwhelming. I am so tired that the thought of brushing my hair and putting on clothes other than pajamas can send me straight back to bed. I am so tired that every. single. thing. feels. completely. exhausting.

I have been feeling this way and getting progressively worse for months now. And I’ve been letting go and prioritizing each part of my life. I knew this was bigger than what I could handle on my own, and so I started asking for help. I knew I needed to change how I lived. I knew I needed to love myself enough to know that it would be okay if I stepped back and relaxed and stopped trying to control every single thing and be there for every single person all of the time. I knew that what I needed more than anything else was sleep and rest and quiet and calm.

And that’s where I am right now.

I recently went to the doctor and found out through my bloodwork that my adrenals are in serious trouble. I like knowing the facts. I like knowing where I’m starting from, so I can feel good about any progress that I’m making along the way.

I feel hopeful that with some serious lifestyle changes (including hormone/vitamin supplements, diet changes, meditation, stopping work earlier, not taking on more than I can handle, delegating, and giving myself permission to rest), I’ll come through this and will be back to my vibrant self soon.

Part of these changes means that I’m admitting I’m human, which is something that you already know but still feels vulnerable for me to write. It means that I’m asking for your love and support while I learn to take extra care of myself and turn some of the love that I’ve been putting out back toward myself. It means that I may take longer to respond or may not be able to respond sometimes at all. It means that I am doing the best I can to be a whole person who can receive just as much as I give.

I know that I’m not the only one feeling this way right now. I know that so many of us have pushed ourselves to the limit and are currently facing levels of fatigue and overwhelm that we didn’t know were possible.

My purpose in writing this and in sharing where I currently am is to hopefully give us all permission to stop rallying – to let us know that it’s possible to stop pushing ourselves and start easing up on ourselves – to know that we can get through this in a loving, supportive way that honors ourselves and also each other. 

I am such a huge believer in sharing our truth. Because I believe that when we do so, we set ourselves and others free. We give everyone permission to share their truth, and it has such a beautiful ripple effect.

So that’s what I’m doing. And it’s my hope that if you’re in the midst of rallying, you’ll ease up on yourself. It’s my hope that you’ll listen to your body and give it what it needs. It’s my hope that you’ll give yourself permission to rest. You’re so deserving of that. We all are.

That’s what I’ll be doing, and I would love to know that you’re doing it right alongside me.

Hugs,

jodi

clarissa weekly special copyP.S. – This week’s special in the Soulful Life Sanctuary is a good one! Clarissa Wilson is offering 60% off her Intuitive Healing Sessions!

As an intuitive healer, Clarissa tunes into your energy and sees where you need healing the most. Then she allows her guides to tell her what methods of healing to use, which can be anything from having angels, archangels and other beings come in, using reiki energy, crystal energy, oracle/tarot cards or any other specific energy she is guided to.

This special goes through the 24th, so be sure to order your discounted reading before then!

You can learn all about it by clicking here! 

Strength in Our Dreams

biddle on table

Our sweet Biddle.

Do you pay much attention to your dreams? Dan and I have a routine where each morning we sit with our cat, Biddle, and watch him eat. (This is one of those silly things that started when he was a kitten and continues five years later.)

Anyway – while we sit together, we take some time to check in, see how we slept, and inevitably our conversation always goes to the dreams we had the night before.

While neither of us are expert dream interpreters, we do know enough about ourselves and what’s happening deep within our souls to know which dreams are just silly collages of the previous day’s events and which ones are powerful messages that are meant to be paid attention to.

So we talk about them. And analyze them. And share how we feel about them. It gives us a chance to reflect on what’s happening within our subconscious and also open up to what our angels and spirit guides would like us to know.

The other night, I had one of these message dreams that felt so powerful and so real that it took me a few moments after waking up to remember that it didn’t actually happen. I woke up with a jolt and a pounding heart.

In the dream, I was in my home (not one that I had ever lived in before) sitting at the kitchen counter working on my computer. It was a townhouse that shared a wall with the neighbors – our kitchens were connected by double doors. I could hear extra loud laughing and roughhousing going on on the other side of the door, and I was having a hard time concentrating. I stopped what I was doing, looked up, and screamed, “Shut up!” I wondered why they were so much louder than usual, so I walked over to the door and saw that it was partially open – I could look inside their home and see that they were all sitting around the counter watching a football game. I then panicked because I realized that if I could see them, they could also see me. And as an extremely private person who relishes my cocoon-like home, this was both unnerving and upsetting.

Dan came into the room, and I told him about the door. By now, it had opened even more – where they could easily look into our home. I ran to the basement to try to hide from them and collided with a woman on the staircase. I was shocked that one of the neighbors had come into our home without my even realizing it.

I grabbed her by the shoulders and yelled at her to leave, but she was belligerent and said she wasn’t going anywhere. She said that she had just as much right to be there as I did. I warned her that while I may be physically small, I have all of the strength of the world inside of me. And that if she didn’t leave, I was going to physically make her do so. But she didn’t believe me, and she wasn’t budging. So I did something that I’ve only done once before in a dream, I physically hurt her. I squeezed her so hard with so much anger and force that she withered away in my hands. I had gotten rid of her.

And then I woke up.

I rarely have dreams that are this violent – especially dreams where I’m causing someone else physical pain. And so I knew that it was something to pay attention to.

After taking a moment to be in this half dream/half awake space, I felt such power within me – such strength. While I have always had this fierceness inside of me when it came to protecting others (Dan, my mom, my furry babies, people who were being mistreated in any way, etc.), I have rarely channeled it to protect myself.

Over the last few months, I’ve been on a journey where I’ve been tapping into this inner well of strength and consciously welcoming it back into my heart. I have let go of so many friendships where I felt that they weren’t there because they loved me but rather because they wanted something from me. I have put up strong boundaries and made it clear how I deserve to be treated. And I’ve said no to anything and everything that no longer fed my soul.

xena snarling

Xena – my protector

Throughout this journey, I’ve had a helper on the other side: my sweet dog-ter, Xena, who passed away last December. She was my protector here on Earth. She was a perfect model for strength – she was completely docile and loving and kind the majority of the time. But she also had an inner fire that came forward when she protected herself or us.

Since she’s been on the other side, I’ve felt her strength running through my veins. I’ve felt this endless well that I can tap into at any time. And I’ve felt worthy of my own protection. I’ve remembered that this strength doesn’t have to be used for others only – I can use it for myself, too.

So this dream was a perfect metaphor for this inner change that I’ve been experiencing. It showed me how serious I am taking it. It was evidence that I’m not going to allow anyone to invade my home (literal or figurative). It showed me that I love myself enough to set boundaries and honor my own needs with a deep fierceness and fire.

And knowing this feels really good. It feels strong and powerful and loving.

All of this from a dream. :)

We truly can learn so much from dreams, and it all starts with being open and paying attention. I’ve found that I don’t have to do anything special to remember them either. The ones that have the messages attached will usually stay with me vividly throughout the day. I have found that it helps to share them with someone else – that way we’re vocalizing them and bringing them from the sleeping world to the waking world. I feel that there’s something powerful about doing this. And then just giving ourselves permission to sit with these dreams, journal about them, and take in whatever messages we’re feeling around them is a great gift to give ourselves.

We have so many great tools that help us connect with our soul, and paying attention to our dreams is one of my favorites. 

Have you had any dreams recently that came with messages? I would love to read about them in the comments below. We just started a Dream Interpretation discussion inside the Soulful Life Sanctuary, too! So if you’re already a member, be sure to check it out. If you aren’t, you can join us here.

Hugs,

jodi

P.S. – I have a special happening right now: our Soul Clarity Cards are on sale for $8.95 in the Soulful Life Sanctuary shop! It’s a great time to stock up! :)

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Free Soul Clarity Message + 1/2 Off Soul Clarity Cards!

***Thank you so much to everyone who participated this month! I’ll be back again on September 1st to do more free readings! See you then!***

Happy August! It’s that time again where I’ll pull one Soul Clarity Card for each person who leaves a comment below!

I do this on the first day of every month, and it’s always so much fun to offer these messages straight from my soul to yours.

Before we start the messages, I wanted to share some exciting news!

The Soulful Life Sanctuary shop opens today, and I’m kicking off the celebration by offering my Soul Clarity Cards for 1/2 price this week! (Yay!)

Soul Clarity Cards

The Soul Clarity Card deck includes 48 cards to help you get clarity on what your soul wants you to know. They come wrapped up in an organza back and include an amethyst gemstone (which helps you connect with your soul).

My soul speaks to me in concise phrases, and so these cards were created with that in mind.

Each card contains a guided action for you to consider – something to help you live soulfully and mindfully.

I believe that the answers are always within us, but sometimes our light gets covered up by life – all of the to-dos and the shoulds and work and errands and hurt and anger and all sorts of gunk. And it can be hard to sift through all of that and find our way home – back to our soul. These cards are a tool to help you on your journey back home.

Each card contains words that your soul needs you to hear. And whichever card you choose will be exactly the one you need in that exact moment. That’s just how it works!

weekly special template copyWe’ll be offering soulful products each week for 1/2 price in the sanctuary shop, and I’m so happy that these cards are the first special!

They normally sell for $17.95 per deck, and if you order them between now and August 10th they are just $8.95!

Click here to order your deck(s)!

They make wonderful gifts, so this is a perfect time to stock up!

I’m so excited to share the shop with you, too! It’s filled with soulful products/services that are offered by the sanctuary members! You’ll find all sorts of goodies there – ecourses, intuitive sessions, meditations, ebooks, aromatherapy, and more! We’ll be adding new items often, so please bookmark the shop and check back regularly! It’s a wonderful way to support the members and spread the love about what they’re offering to the world.

If you would like to have your products/services in the shop, you can do so once you become a sanctuary member!

Absolute Last Day to Join the Sanctuary & Receive the Discount + Bonus Gifts!

I’ve decided to continue the sanctuary special through 11:59 pm pst today (August 1st)! If you join today, you’ll receive a $50 discount + over $800 in bonus gifts!

We received another donation to the Angel Fund yesterday, too! So please email me (jodi@jodichapman.com) if you would like to arrange extended payment plans and/or receive from the fund in order to join the sanctuary! There’s almost $500 in it at the moment, and over 20 people have already received from it! (Click here to learn more about the Angel Fund.)

Click here to join us in the sanctuary!

And now, it’s time for your free message!

Here’s how it works: I’ll pull one card for anyone who leaves a comment at the end of the post by 11:59 pm pst today (8/1/14)! If your comment is posted before then, I promise I will pull a card for you. Each month when I open this up, I receive hundreds of requests, so please be patient with me – especially this month with the sanctuary opening today as well. (If you happen to miss this deadline, please know that I’ll do it again on 9/1.)

All you have to write is “Yes, please!” or something similar. Please don’t feel that you need to share what you are looking to heal or what you would like guidance for. You are more than welcome to, but it’s not necessary. I know that this can be very personal, and your soul and the universe already know what you need. (If you are reading this via a reader or email, please click here to be taken to the post.)

A technical tip for you: To be able to find your comment and not receive a barrage of emails by subscribing to comments, you can go to the comments page and do a search for your name. (On a PC, you press the “control” button + the “f” button.) This makes it super easy to scroll to your name and your reading. :)

Big hug to each of you.

Please spread the love by sharing this on Facebook and Twitter! 

P.S. – Remember that the Soul Clarity Cards are 1/2 off this week only! Be sure to stock up by clicking here!

And today is the absolute last day to join the Soulful Life Sanctuary and receive a $50 discount + over $800 in bonus gifts. I hope you’ll join us – it’s such a loving space. Click here to join us! (Or click here to email me about an extended payment plan or receiving from the Angel Fund.)

Honoring Our Sensitivity

sensitivity copyI shared something on Facebook yesterday that seems to be striking a chord with many.

It was a post that I was nervous to share – because even though I know that what I’m doing is right for me, I still have that piece that runs very deep within that feels that somehow I should feel bad or guilty for honoring my sensitivity and taking care of my own needs.

Here is the post that I wrote: 

Jodi Chapman

July 26, 2014

As an introvert, I need a lot of time to recharge after being “on” (around people). While I love connecting with others and it feeds my soul in many ways, I realized that it needed to be balanced with quiet, alone time. So a couple of years ago, I decided that I wasn’t going to talk to anyone (besides Dan) during the weekends to create a cocoon for myself. At first, it felt really decadent – like I was getting away with something. But I loved it so much – it felt so healing. A year ago I added on the first week of each month. And again, that felt amazingly decadent, and at first I wondered if it was too much. But it felt so nourishing that I couldn’t imagine not doing it. And now, I’m so happy that I’m continuing to honor my own needs by adding on another week. So I’ll have 2 weeks “on” each month and 2 weeks “off.” It’s such a beautiful balance that feels really good in my soul. I’m extremely sensitive to energy, and this is a way to honor my own needs while still be able to connect with others. I’m feeling so good about this change – it feels so loving and empowering. Our bodies are always talking to us, and listening to mine and doing what it asks without judgment has changed my life in such beautiful ways.

In writing this, I felt both exposed and free. I felt like I came closer to sharing my truest self – the self that I have shied away from sharing for most of my life for fear that I would be seen as antisocial or different or “bitchy” or uncaring or aloof.

I have always been a combination of introverted and sensitive, and I have always loved being alone and immersing myself in quiet and stillness. There is no better feeling for me than turning off the phone, pulling the shades, closing the door, and knowing that my time is my own. It’s in these moments that I feel like I can exhale – like I am home.

As a child, I spent hours and hours alone in my bedroom. I was so sensitive to energy and wanted so much to be alone that closing my bedroom door wasn’t always enough. I loved going into the closet and closing that door as well. I would bring in a blanket, some candy, a book, and my journal and spend hours at a time in my cocoon. It was pure heaven.

As I got older though, I started to feel that this need for solitude wasn’t normal. I started to sense that this wasn’t something that I should share with others if I wanted to fit in. I didn’t want to appear to be antisocial. So I kept this secret of needing to recharge to myself, and I subconsciously came up with “appropriate” ways to find time to be alone – by getting sick. No one questions that. When you’re sick, you get plenty of time to rest and recharge. So that’s pretty much how I spent my 20s. When I got to my 30s, however, I no longer wanted to use this excuse. I wanted to honor my introversion and my sensitivity. I wanted to claim them as the gifts that they are.

So I began to take steps to consciously and unapologetically share my true self with others. I made a decision that I would no longer hide who I was from the world. I knew that this need to be alone wasn’t something to feel ashamed of. It didn’t mean that anything was wrong with me. It just meant that I needed extra time to connect with my soul in order to recharge. That’s all.

Not everyone has understood this need for quiet – especially as the amount of time that I need grows. But my true friends have learned that it’s who I am –  they honor this part of me and want me to be happy. They know that if they want to have a relationship with me, this is part of the deal.

For so long, I carried so much guilt for moving away from others in order to honor this need for silence and stillness. I now see that it’s not so much that I’m moving away from them – it’s more than I’m moving toward myself. I’m moving toward my connection with my soul, with the divine, and with all that is.

I’m realizing that the more I support others and give to others and offer love to others, the more I need to support myself and give to myself and love myself. I spend so much of my time connecting on a deep level with beautiful souls, and I’m much better able to support them if I’m all recharged and ready to go! And while I’m setting these boundaries for myself, it does help to know that others will benefit as well. It somehow makes it easier to do and to stick with.

I’ve also found that as I raise my vibration, my sensitivity heightens. As I move into the world of the soul, my awareness increases and my spirit vibrates on a higher frequency. It’s amazing and magical to experience, but I also am learning that in order to ground myself in my human body, I need to make space for much more alone time than I previously may have needed.

It’s all part of the journey. And, based on the feedback that I’ve already received to my Facebook post, I see that I’m not alone in this. So many of us are sensitive and introverted and are consciously raising our vibration. I love knowing that we can relate to each other and can support each other as we honor our bodies and our souls and give ourselves what we need in order to function at our highest, most loving level.

Our sensitivity is a gift that is meant to be nurtured and cherished. And giving ourselves time alone to honor our needs is such a beautiful way to walk through life.  

If you aren’t already giving yourself this gift, please do. Your body and soul will thank you in such loving ways. We’re all so deserving and so worthy of this conscious kind of self love and self acceptance.

Hugs,
jodi
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I Deserve To Be Happy (And So Do You)

download (1)Several years ago, I read a book by Gay Hendricks called The Big Leap. In it, I was introduced to what he called our “Upper Limit Problem.”

He explains how each of us has an inner thermostat that determines how much goodness we will allow ourselves (such as love, happiness, positive feelings, etc.).

So what happens is when we go over our limit, we subconsciously bring ourselves back down in order to get back to our comfort zone. He goes on to say how our upper limit is usually set in childhood – well before we are even aware that it is happening.

As a child, I learned that too much happiness was bad.

My mom was always tired and worried and stressed, and I was constantly yelled at by my step-dad for laughing and for having fun. I was allowed to be happy to a point, but beyond that I was chastised.

If I had friends over, we would normally talk in whispers so as not to upset him. Unless we forgot (because we were kids), in which case he would scream at us to be quiet. (I eventually learned to go to their houses instead.)

He even had a rule that there was to be no laughing at the dinner table. If my sister and I did laugh, we would be sent to the laundry room. (This is where the cats ate, and he said that if we were going to behave like animals, we would eat with the animals.)

So I learned at a very young age that feeling joy wasn’t something I should want to have in my life – it was what got you in trouble.

After reading Gay’s book, I began to go through my life and notice the patterns throughout when I exceeded my happiness upper limit and needed to somehow bring myself back down to the known.

For example, when I was in college, I received a scholarship to study in France. I was so excited about this and couldn’t wait to go. But the month before I was scheduled to leave, I got so sick that I needed to be hospitalized and didn’t end up going.

When I was 19, I moved to New Mexico to attend college. For the first time in my life, I was living alone in my own apartment. I was so happy and felt like an adult. Just three months into this round of happiness, I got really sick and ended up having to move in with my mom.

When Dan and I first started dating, I was happier than I had ever been. I was in the clouds and my heart was full for the first time in my life. And just a few months into our relationship, I was in a horrible car accident – the impact of which I still feel 13 years later.

Throughout my life, I have subconsciously used illness in one form or another to bring me down into the known when I have felt “too happy.” It’s a pattern that has been with me since I was a child, and I just realized that it is still continuing.

I have been so, so happy about the Soulful Life Sanctuary. It’s my home away from home. It’s my heart, my soul, my life. It’s a culmination of everything that I have wanted to share, and it’s such a beautifully loving space. I feel such a sense of inner contentment and joy and elation and groundedness each time I’m there (which is quite often).

I have been flying so far off the ground in a loving state of bliss for the last few weeks, which has been amazing. Yesterday, however, I received some medical news that brought me right back down to the ground – that completely took the wind out of my sails. I had some moles biopsied that came back as precancerous, which means I have to have them removed and go in every three months from now on. Upon first hearing this, I was shocked and scared and felt utterly defeated.

And then I remembered (with Dan’s help) this whole upper-limit concept, which made so much sense.

I saw that this was a pattern that I’ve repeated throughout my life. And I realized that I get to decide when it stops. I get to decide if I’m going to raise my upper limit and allow myself to feel happiness. I get to decide if I’m ready to release this conditioning that I learned as a child and take back my life as an adult.

And I’m ready, so ready, to do that right now.

Because I am no longer okay with allowing someone else’s beliefs to have any bearing on how I live my life. I am no longer okay with giving away my power to someone else. And I am no longer okay with bringing myself back to the floor anytime I feel happy and full of joy.

I want my upper limit to have no upper limit. I want it to reach higher than the sky – to be completely limitless. 

Because I know how powerful our thoughts and beliefs are, I know that this is something that I can change. I know it.

And I’m so grateful for this wake-up call. It has helped me see that my upper limit was much, much lower than I realized or than I want. And now that I am aware, I can do something about it – I can raise it.

And that feels pretty great.

If you haven’t read Gay’s book, I highly recommend that you do. Whether you have read it or not though, I would love to hear how you’re planning on raising your own upper limits in the comments below.

We are all so powerful. The first step for changing any part of our lives is being aware. And recognizing where our upper limits are is a great way to break through them.

We all deserve to be happy. Really. And I’m definitely ready to claim this birthright. I hope you are, too. 

Hugs,

jodi

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