I’ve been learning more and more how important showing up in the world from an open, loving space is.
And I’ve noticed that it’s not as common as one might think to find others who are bravely living this way.
I get it. I definitely didn’t used to be this trusting and this open and this heartbased and this warm and fuzzy.
I was when I was very young, and then – like many of us – I got hurt over and over again and quickly realized that being open and sharing my heart with the world didn’t always feel so good. Sometimes it felt like it was being trampled into a million pieces, actually. And sometimes, it felt like it was literally being broken in half from all of the pain. Definitely not fun feelings to feel, and so – like many of us – I decided to put walls around my heart to protect myself.
I even dressed the part. As someone who used to wear pink almost daily when I was young, I started wearing mostly black and even bought a pair of combat boots that I wore with almost everything. I stopped being approachable and started giving off the vibe that I was hardened to make sure a wall stayed between me and everyone else. I shut people out and became cynical and skeptical.
But dressing the part and acting the part doesn’t mean that I was the part or that I became the part. I was still me. I was still heart-centered and loving and sappy – I just no longer felt comfortable sharing this side of myself with others. It was too hard. I didn’t want to get hurt. I couldn’t go through another heartbreak. I didn’t want to be sad anymore.
And what I slowly started to realize is that by closing my heart off to almost everyone (including my connection to the universe), I was more heartbroken than if someone had trampled all over my heart. I felt completely lost, disconnected, and alone.
And that felt pretty terrible.
It’s true that by shutting out almost everyone, I kept myself protected in many ways. But in doing so, I ended up shutting myself off from the universal flow. By building a wall so high around my heart, I managed to just about seal off any connection with the divine for many, many years.
And that felt pretty terrible.
And I didn’t like feeling terrible. I wanted to feel good, amazing, joyful, trusting, and loving. I wanted to share my true self with the world – my pink-wearing, completely sappy, oozing love self. And I didn’t want to be afraid to of getting hurt. I didn’t want to be afraid of getting my heartbroken.
I began to believe (and really feel) that if I showed up as my true self, my connection with the universe would love me up enough to be brave enough to get through any heartache that happened here on Earth. I began to trust that no matter how hard things seemed here, I was never alone – I was always loved – and coming from a loving place always felt better than shutting myself off to love.
And so I began to bravely let the wall come down. Slowly – so very slowly. Baby steps. Just a little at a time.
Until one day, I looked around and felt around and noticed that my heart was wide open. Completely open and completely connected. And that felt amazing. Truly amazing.
It felt a bit scary, too, to be perfectly honest. And I have been hurt since my heart has opened up this wide. I have been betrayed and had to learn how to handle hurt feelings from such an open state of being.
But I got through it. Because I know that my connection to my soul and my connection to the universe is stronger than any heartbreak I could ever, ever, ever, experience here on Earth. And I know that living from this heart-filled and love-filled space feels SO amazingly good. It’s who we all are at our core – when we dig down deep enough, we’ll only find love. That’s all.
And knowing this has changed how I look at myself, at others, at everything in this magical world. My heart is open, and my walls are down. And it feels wonderful.
If you have your walls up in order to protect yourself, I really do understand. But I wonder if you would be willing to bring them down just a little bit right now and let just a little bit of love in. And then maybe tomorrow you can let them down just a little bit more and trust that you’re already protected by the universe – you don’t need to add extra protection. We’re here to feel and to experience and to love. And letting your walls down is a great start into doing exactly that.
I promise that while it’s not always easy and it doesn’t always feel amazing, it will change everything – absolutely everything – in the way you see the world. It will open everything up for you in such beautiful ways. And all it takes to experience this is to choose to bravely start opening your heart – just a little bit.
I love that so much.