21 days

Could you go 21 entire days without a single complaint or negative statement? Would you like to try?

I recently read an amazing book: The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity.

One of the exercises that the author gives is to go 21 days without a single complaint or negative statement. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a negative thought, but it does mean that you won’t give it power – or a voice. It means that you are taking control of your life – what you give energy to.

Each time you utter a complaint, you start over. Not as a punishment, but as a way to help you truly grasp this lesson – to know on a deep level that you have the ability to choose what you focus on. And sometimes we live so much of our lives on auto-pilot that we aren’t even aware of our thoughts and how our actions are direct reflections of these thoughts.

When I read this exercise, I knew that I needed to do it. I like to think of myself as a pretty positive person who focuses on being grateful and positive. But, I am human. I definitely have my moments where one negative thought (or worry or complaint) can quickly spiral downward into a place that I don’t want to go to. My complaints tend to focus on two things: lack of money and my inner critic wanting me to do better. Yours could be about these things or something completely different. A complaint is a complaint – no matter what it’s about. A negative thought carries negative energy no matter what it’s about.

I would love for you to join me in taking back our lives! Let’s prove to ourselves that we can do this – we can make a positive, conscious shift away from the negative and into the positive.

Let’s make this brand new year the year when we become fully conscious and take complete responsibility for our life.

Yes, let’s do exactly that.

So no more complaining for the next 21 days. Are you in?

If you have a bad day, if things just don’t seem to be going your way, reframe it in your mind before giving voice to it.

If you miss the train on your way to work, you could know that everything happens in the right time, and you weren’t supposed to be on that train anyway.

If you come to the end of the month, and there isn’t as much money in your account as you had hoped, you can be grateful that there is any at all. Or you could think of ways to add more money to your account.

If you look in the mirror and aren’t thrilled with what you see, you could focus on one part of your appearance that you are happy with – start there.

And if you simply aren’t able to reframe your negative thoughts and voice positive ones, then start by not saying anything at all. It’s a beginning. And hopefully soon you’ll be able to slowly shift your focus into a more positive space.

Remember, if you voice a complaint or anything negative, start over.

If you would like to join me, please comment below that you’re in!

I’ll let you know how my progress is going (in the comments below), and I hope you’ll do the same. Let’s support each other in creating positive lives that we are happy to live!

So much love to you,



21 days — 31 Comments

  1. Since today, for me is almost over, I will start this tomorrow. This exercise will definitely be a good awareness technique to see how often I do complain. Thank you for the encouragement! Good Luck.

      • Day 1/Jan 2- I figured that saying negative things out loud wouldn’t be too hard since I work from home and it is just myself and my partner. That was until I was on the phone with my daughter discussing an incident at home that had happened earlier. It was hours later when I was reviewing my day that I realized that I had been complaining. Ha, I don’t even realize when I am complaining when I disguise it as something else. I had a valid complaint. I wasn’t complaining. No really. I was discussing how things could be different. I had to laugh.

        Day 2/Jan 3 – I have done better today at not verbalizing any negativity and it hasn’t been as easy as I had hoped. I have come to the conclusion that I have to take a look at my judging other people’s behavior and not realizing that I am complaining. What does complaining really look like to me. A negative thought is a negative thought even as a judgement. Needless to say, I am not very happy about this but grateful for the opportunity to look at my thoughts!

        • I can definitely relate! It’s been so interesting to recognize if something is a complaint and be able to identity it as such. I am surprised at how many times I have to check in with myself and wonder if something would or could be considered a complaint? You’re so right – a negative thought is a negative thought – regardless of how it is packaged. Glad we’re both keeping with it! :)
          Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..What Kind Of Year Is It Going To Be?My Profile

          • It is day 6 and I realize that I have 2 veins of negative thoughts. Judging others by a criteria that I didn’t realize I had and self talk that says I am just plain dumb.

            I intellectually know that others are walking a path and need no judging so my negativity is just a round about way of being hard on myself.

            So why can’t I just be okay with where I am in my own path? Guess that brings up past stuff, this life or another, that needs to be dealt with and released.

            So all negative thought is really directed at myself and intended to keep me small. Hmmm. I don’t think I want to be small anymore.

            Will continue to let you know how this is going. Thank so much for the opportunity to talk!

  2. Sounds wonderful. I’m definitely in. Thanks for the inspiration. It will certainly give us all a very happy start to the new year. Wouldn’t it be good if we could keep it up beyond the challenge?

    • Welcome, Lynne! Thank you for joining us!

      I am with you that it would be wonderful to keep this up beyond the challenge. I had to start over both days so far, so I’m hoping I will be able to get to 21 days.

      A Facebook friend has been doing this for 3 years and hasn’t made it to 21 days. But she is an inspiration to me because she is continuing with it and staying aware of her thoughts. That’s definitely crucial.

      Please post how it’s going for you!
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Shared Wisdom – 2012 Predictions for YouMy Profile

  3. Day 1/Jan. 1:
    Today I began my 21-day no complaining challenge. I am a positive, grateful person, so I truly thought that this would be pretty easy. Guess what I learned? It’s actually pretty hard (and so enlightening). No wonder my life isn’t a direct reflection of my dreams – so many of my thoughts are pretty darn negative (who knew?). I had never taken the time to be this aware of them before. Now they are each under a microscope. I’m dissecting them constantly to determine whether they are positive, neutral, or negative.
    I started this challenge at midnight on 1/1. Dan and I celebrated by watching the beautiful firework display from our backyard. We had a wonderful romantic moment – the stars were aligned, the sky was dancing in color – it was bound to be a wonderful year! And then we went back inside and life resumed – our bubble burst. Our dog was terrified of the fireworks (trembling, shaking, panting – the works), so she needed some tlc. The cats were fighting and needed to be separated. But we were determined to stay in a positive place, which is what we did. This challenge wasn’t going to beat us – no way!
    The next morning I woke up with a back ache and the remnants of a bad dream – something about a taxi driver going around and around and racking up the total. But…I wasn’t going to complain. But I was thinking about it on the inside – I was determined not to voice it as a complaint. And then I had technical problems with my computer. The office felt extra warm. I was feeling scared about starting a new year and being able to reach all of my dreams and goals. And it went on and on. But I kept my cool and continued to switch back to happy thoughts. And so I sat down to write, which I was so excited about doing – something about it being the first of the year, new beginnings, etc. Just when I started writing, my cat jumped up and started knocking things off of my desk. It was the final straw. I don’t remember what I said, but it was definitely a complaint. Back to square one.

    Day 1 (again)/ Jan. 2:
    I was determined to make it through the day without complaining.
    I woke up in a good mood, went to my computer, and wasn’t able to log into a website for work. I should mention that technical issues are a hot button for me. And to myself (but still outloud), I said, “This is a bunch of $@^#.” (A complaint.)
    So tomorrow I will start again. :)

    Change begins with awareness, and already this challenge has been so enlightening. I truly thought that I would breeze through this, and I am now seeing that my thoughts aren’t quite as happy as I thought. A great lesson to learn (and continue learning).

    I can’t wait to read what your experiences have been!
    Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Shared Wisdom – 2012 Predictions for YouMy Profile

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  5. This sounds like an awesome commitement to myself–I am in!

    I am also going to try to corral my family and friends too =)

  6. Hi Ruth!
    Yay! I’m so glad you’re joining us! Thank you for passing it along to your friends and family, too!
    The more the merrier – we can create a positive space here for each other and then spread it into the world.

  7. 1/3:
    More cat fights and a verbal complaint about it. Back to square one.
    When you work from home, you get used to waking up naturally (without an alarm). But… I was really excited to be a part of a teleconference today, so I committed to waking up early. And as I was walking into the kitchen (still half asleep and extremely tired), I realized that “Oh, man…” came out of my mouth. (A complaint.) What’s equally as interesting to me are not only the complaints that I utter regularly, but how often I talk to myself. :)
    I am not discouraged though. Tomorrow is a new day, and just being aware of my thoughts is already creating a change inside of me.
    I would love to hear how it’s going for you as well!
    Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..What Kind Of Year Is It Going To Be?My Profile

  8. 1/7: I am happy to report that I went 2 days without a complaint!
    And then I was having trouble with my internet connection today (those darn technology errors), and I voiced a complaint, which I was bummed about for 2 reasons: I complained and now I would have to start over, which negates the positive days.

    So… I’m rewriting the rules. It doesn’t mean that you have to, but this isn’t working for me. What I am going to do from now on (thanks, Dan, for this great idea!), is mark the days when I am complaint-free for the entire day. And when I get up to 21, I will have completed this challenge. No more starting over and going back to square one.

    Does that sound easier for everyone?

    I sure hope you’re all still in! The awareness has been amazing, and I’m so grateful for that!
    Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Saturday Selection – Intuitive GuidanceMy Profile

  9. Pingback: Grateful for Awareness | | Soul SpeakSoul Speak

  10. I would like to join I so need to relax as I am going through a very hard time with my husband and family

  11. I have a sister and brother both dying at way to young. I have a son and granddaughter who barly speak to me so I must be an awful person. I see a counsler who thinks maybe my son taught his daughter to dislike me. I am fed up and also have been in pain from a lot of surgery so was on a pain patch and decided on my own to cut back on it that i feel good about

  12. I would like to join this and my life has always been negative and complaint filled. I need to do this as a brand new start. Just turned 40 a few weeks ago and need to start a new life.

  13. I started this today and suddenly became aware of how much I complain in a subtle way 😉 Its goig to be an eye opener! I managed to not voice my thoughts many times but slipped once or twice! I start tomorrow :)

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