Dan and I are celebrating 16 years of being a couple this week! Meeting him and getting to spend each day with him has been and will always be the greatest blessing of my life, and I’m just so grateful that we’ve already had so many beautiful moments together and will continue to have many more to look forward to.
Anniversaries are a big deal for us. We have a lot of them: the day we met, the first time we knew that the other felt the same way, the first time we said “I love you,” our wedding, and on and on. And no matter how busy we’ve been over the years, we’ve always made sure to set everything aside to celebrate each other and our love. And this year is no exception. We’ve already had part one of the party a few days ago when we ate vegan cheesecake and played pinball and went to the photo booth at an arcade. We’ve already opened some of our presents, and we’re looking forward to going out to dinner to continue the celebration tonight. We always promised that we would make our love our top priority, and – even in the busiest times – we’ve kept this promise. We know what a gift we’ve been given, and we never want to not cherish it and nurture it and honor it.
And this got me thinking about other parts of my life – not just our love and our relationship. It makes sense that the thing we give our attention to is what flourishes in our life. By focusing on it, we allow it to grow. And this can be for positive things or experiences or negative ones. For example, when I focus on how tired I am, I end up feeling even more tired. I’m feeding the fatigue. In a funny way, it’s like I’m letting the universe know that I would like more of that (even though I certainly don’t). If I let feelings of overwhelm creep in and feel that I’m overworked and have too much on my plate and am not sure how it’s all going to get done, these feelings have a way to seep into each part of my life until I just want to crawl into my bed and stay there for a long while. In contrast, when I focus on how much I love Dan, I feel really good and other parts of my life seem to fall into place. If I focus on how much I love volunteering at the animal shelter and fill my thoughts with all of the sweet kitty friends that I’ve bonded with there, my overall mood lifts and I can’t help but feel lighter and happier.
Our lives really do reflect what we focus on consistently – what we give our attention to. It’s inevitable that we’re going to go through hard times. Believe me, I know. Life sometimes has a way of sucking the life out of us. We grieve. We get sick. We suffer. And all of these experiences are part of being human. All of these experiences are valid. But sometimes I find myself stuck in patterns or habits that no longer feel good for me – things that have worn out their welcome (such as feeling tired or disempowered or worried or overwhelmed or anything else that brings me down). They have a way of becoming so deeply ingrained in my daily life that I’m not always even aware of them.
We took our kayak out on the water the other day for the first time in a long time. And it was so peaceful and life-affirming. It helped me remember what matters most to me: Dan, nature, peace, and presence. For the afternoon, I got to focus on what I loved, and I carried those feelings of well-being and rejuvenation into the rest of my day. I wasn’t thinking about how much I had to do or how tired I felt or how my body hurt or what I was worried about. I was present. In the moment. In love with my sweetie and also with life.
And it was such a great reminder that I have access to these feelings – to these moments – at any time, all of the time, if I choose them. We all do. And there’s so much that I love about knowing that. Here’s to each of us focusing on what feels good!
Hugs and love,
P.S. – We’re celebrating the 5-year anniversary of the first ecourse that we created together. It’s called Soulful Journaling, and we’re offering it to you for free for a limited time! (It normally sells for $47!)
Over the years, more than 3,000 people have taken it, and we’re so grateful to have received such loving and positive feedback about it. If you haven’t taken it already, it’s our hope that it will be a helpful tool to inspire you to go within and connect with your soul through the powerful practice of journaling. And if you have already taken it, please feel free to share that it’s currently free with anyone who you think would enjoy it – the more the merrier!
You can click here to learn more and sign up!
