I was putting laundry away the other afternoon and did my typical “roll the sheets up and shove them into the linen closet” routine. While standing there, looking at the sheets sort of bulging off of the shelf, I started to laugh, thinking about how truly lucky I am to be with someone who not only doesn’t judge this part of me – the part who honestly is just happy that the laundry is clean and truly doesn’t care how it’s folded and who sees a million better ways to spend my time than folding laundry “perfectly” – but who embraces and loves each and every part of who I am. And I felt such a huge wave of gratitude that I get to simply be myself and am able to live my life in whatever way feels right for me. I can finally exhale, which is something I didn’t do a whole lot of growing up.

As a child, I constantly felt like I was dodging landmines – never knowing if what I did or didn’t do would set one off. Some days, laughing and being silly was encouraged. Other days, it was chastised. Some days, I was the apple of my stepdad’s eye. Other days, I could do nothing right in his eyes.

And then there were the rules. He had so many of them. No making noise when unloading the dishwasher (not an easy feat!), no taking drinks or food past the tiled kitchen floor, no putting feet on the table, no chewing food too loudly, no talking too loudly, no listening to the TV or to music too loudly, no this, no that. A whole lot of nos.

After he and my mom got divorced my senior year of high school, she and I experienced freedom for the first time. Our home was our own again. We danced. We laughed. We sang. We played. I ate in my own room – yes, on the carpet! I had friends over. I could finally breathe. And I promised myself that when I was an adult, I would remember how it felt to feel this free and do whatever I needed to do to keep it.

I had forgotten about this promise until the other day, while standing in front of the linen closet. And it felt so good to remember it and see that I had kept it. I am me. I get to show up fully as myself in my own home. I put my feet on the table and eat wherever I want and listen to music or the TV as loudly as I want and dance and sing when I want and laugh as loudly as I want and do whatever I want whenever I want however I want. I am free.

I’m so grateful to have found someone to share my life with who not only puts up with all of my quirks but embraces them and encourages them. Dan also knows what it’s like to grow up without feeling free, so we get each other in that way. We know what a blessing it truly is to live a drama-free, easy-going, exhaling, and completely chill kind of life together. We know how it feels to not live this way, and we will never take for granted the fact that we’ve created a life where we can be ourselves at all times.

We’re truly two peas in a pod, two peanuts in a peanut shell, a double helix, each other’s home. After being together just about 24/7 for over 15 years, we’re as close as I can imagine two people can be. (As witnessed in the photo above, we are even starting to dress alike and pose in the same way!) And thank god we get to live this life of freedom and breathing easy and love, oh, so much love, together. I’m truly grateful.

And it’s my hope that each of you who are reading this feel free in your life as well. It’s absolutely the best feeling in the world.

So while my sheets may look a little silly being shoved into the closet, my heart is full, my exhales are huge, and my life is my own. That’s what matters most to me.

Hugs,