When Dan and I first started our journey as entrepreneurs in 2005, we were knee deep in paper and glue and embellishments and string and glitter and paint and ink and everything that could possibly go into making a journal and making it pretty.

During our first years in business, we made and sold thousands and thousands of journals (such as the one in the photo). We drove around New Mexico (where we lived at the time) and displayed them at one craft show after another. We also offered them at wholesale pricing via our website to stores. Soon, our journals were sold in hundreds of shops and galleries, and we were beyond excited that our business dream was actually coming true.

We thought we had made it. We thought, This is it! (which, not coincidentally, was the name of our company: This Is It! Creations). We thought that we were living the dream. And in some ways we were. It’s true that we were working for ourselves. It’s true that we got to set our schedules and make up all the rules and report only to ourselves. It’s true that we could wake up whenever we wanted to and spend all day long in our pajamas if we chose to. But it’s also true that we were stressed, lacked security, and were pushing ourselves beyond what was good for our health. It’s also true that our business was running our lives rather than the other way around. Things felt extremely out of balance, and oftentimes we were just going through the motions – trying desperately to say on the train that we had chosen to get on – that we weren’t sure we even wanted to be on any longer. But, by then it was moving so fast and had gathered so much momentum that we figured we would just see it through and see where we ended up.

So, we took our business to the next level and moved into our dream home that had its own beautiful studio where we could continue creating new products. We hired employees to help us keep this vision alive. Except I wondered what vision we were trying so desperately to keep alive. Was it ours? Was it really our dream? Were we really living our purpose?

One afternoon, soon after we moved into this beautiful home and were sitting across from each other at the work table in our studio, we decided that it was time to answer these questions. What was our five-year vision for our business? What did we hope to achieve during that time? Where did we see it growing? How different would it be? I looked over at Dan and saw him writing away, yet I found myself not being able to write anything. Nothing at all. My page was blank because my mind was blank. I couldn’t see anything in our five-year plan. And that terrified me. I wondered what we were going to do if I couldn’t get completely on board with our business. I hated venturing into the unknown because it was scary for me. I wanted to be able to see what was coming next, to plan for it, to prepare myself for it. Yet, I just wasn’t able to. I had to wait and see how our business evolved. I had to keep showing up and being present and being open and being honest with myself about what felt good and what didn’t and what fed my soul and what didn’t. I had to get really clear about what I liked about the business and what I didn’t like, and I had to be willing to make changes along the way that would lead me closer to my ideal vision – the one that I hoped to be able to visualize in my mind’s eye one day.

Eventually – years later – I could finally see a vision. It included books, books, and more books. And I realized that I didn’t have a vision in those early days because our business wasn’t meant to continue in the way that we originally thought. We weren’t meant to keep making journals. We were meant to write them. And write blogs. And write books. This was our calling. This was our dream. This is still our dream (and, thankfully, our reality). Our business in its early years was the first step to lead us to where we are today, which I’m so thankful for.

Even though I couldn’t yet see the vision all those years ago, I’m so glad that a part of me was able to hold the vision – to make room for the vision so that it could eventually fill in and become clear to me. While I feel that writing has always been my dream and will always be my dream, I’m looking forward to seeing all of the ways that it shows up in the years to come – all of the words that will be written and the books that will come to fruition. And I love knowing that all I have to do is hold the vision and show up for my dream. That’s definitely doable.

I don’t have to be scared if it’s not always clear. That’s where trust comes in. And I do believe that everything always happens in perfect timing. I can gratefully accept all blessings (like our journal above says). All of them. Even the ones that I can’t understand and the ones that aren’t yet clear. Because they’re all blessings that are helping me create a vision that feels the most authentic and the most loving and the most like home for me.

Hold the vision. Make space for the vision. And trust that the vision will eventually become clear.

That’s what I’m doing, and if it feels right for you to do so, you’re always welcome to join me.

Hugs,

 

 

 

 

Ready to Write Your Soulful Book? I Can Help!

Sign up for my free "Write Your Soulful Book in 2024" Workshop that's happening on Dec 12 at 3 pm pst!

You have Successfully Subscribed!