Let’s Stop Making Excuses

excusesWhen you look at your life – how you spend your days, where you live, who you surround yourself with, etc. – do you feel happy, content, passionate, satisfied, and joyful? Or do you feel resentful, angry, sad, apathetic, and afraid?

Regardless of which description depicts your life, do you believe that you have created it? Would you agree that no one – absolutely no one – is to blame for your unhappiness or dissatisfaction? Just like no one else can take credit for your happiness and contentment. It all comes back to you.

We have all created our lives. 100%. And sometimes that can feel empowering, especially when your life is working wonderfully. But other times it can feel disheartening. Like when you look at your life and feel like nothing is going right.

At some point in our life, we are going to get tired of blaming others and disempowering ourselves in the process. At some point in our life, we are going to step up, stop making excuses, and start creating the life we know we are so deserving of. 

I know all about excuses. Really. I have made so many of them throughout my life.

For decades, sickness was my go-to excuse. I let myself off the hook far more often than I should have because I knew I could fall back on being ill. I allowed myself to stay safe – depending on others – for years because I was too afraid to step up and grab my own life by the reins and live!

I used the fact that I was shy as an excuse. I would gracefully bow out of opportunities because I didn’t want to be in the spotlight.

I used my crooked teeth as an excuse to not be seen. I’ll wait until they are straightened, I said to myself. Then I’ll be ready to get out there – into the public eye. (I had braces as a teenager and didn’t wear my retainers… lesson learned for sure.) 

I used my work as an excuse to keep me from going within and connecting with my soul. There was always a deadline and always a reason why there wasn’t enough time to  take care of myself and love myself a little bit.

I used my lack of money as an excuse to keep me in a busy cycle – again so I wouldn’t have the luxury to go within and discover/uncover what was going on deep inside my soul.

So many excuses. I had been making them for so many years, and I didn’t even realize they were excuses. I had used them so often that I truly felt that they were my truth.

Wow.

Until one day, in a rare moment of reflection, I realized that I was the only one who could change my life. I was the only one who could turn things around. I was the only one who could consciously choose to stop making excuses and start living – really living.

This meant facing fears and moving forward and feeling uncomfortable and diving inside my heart to discover the deep reasons why I began making these excuses in the first place – what I had been avoiding and why.

And it’s not like this process started one night and was complete by the next. Definitely not.

It meant saying yes to opportunities. It meant stepping through my shyness and physical insecurities and allowing myself to be seen. It meant slowing down and not working around the clock so that I gave myself time to reflect and go within.

To be honest, the process continues even today. It’s a moment-by-moment awareness. It’s a constant checking in and asking myself if I am being true to my soul or if I am shying away from it. This consciousness has become like a best friend to me – staying by my side and frequently asking me throughout the day if I am making choices that empower me or disempower me.

I can tell you that underneath the excuses was pain and sadness and regret and disappointment. And it wasn’t fun to work through all of that. Definitely not. But clearing all of this gunk out and moving into a clear space – a new space – felt so freeing. A space where I could begin again and choose to live without excuses for myself or my life.

And that’s what I wish for us all. To choose the path of empowerment and self responsibility. To honor our soul by staying conscious and being brave enough to walk along this journey without excuses. To be brave enough to step into whatever scares us – knowing that we are always loved and always taken care of.

So now it’s your turn. 

Where in your life are you making excuses? 

Where in your life are you not being completely honest with yourself? 

Where in your life have you given away your power?

And how can you get it back?

Because I know you can. You are so strong – so very strong. 

And living a life without excuses is such a beautiful and empowered way to live. 

Who wouldn’t want that?

Please help spread the love by sharing this post on Facebook and Twitter.

Big hug,

jodi

 

 

 

Comments

Let’s Stop Making Excuses — 19 Comments

  1. Thanks for this much needed reminder, Jodi. Self-Responsibility = Personal Power. Have you read “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown? The subtitle is “How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.

    Her premise is that we become strong by embracing vulnerability & we dare more greatly when we acknowledge our fear. I believe we get our power back by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. And this brings purpose & meaning to our lives.

    Thanks for being vulnerable here at Soul Speak, Jodi. It gives us permission to do the same. :)
    Linda Catherine Robinson recently posted..How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed and Start Living by DesignMy Profile

    • Hi Linda!
      It’s funny that you mentioned Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly! I just finished reading the book she wrote before that on imperfection and loved it so much. Daring Greatly is next on my list.
      Thank you for saying such kind words – they mean the world, especially when I’m feeling extra vulnerable. Big hug to you!
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..A Message from My Spirit GuideMy Profile

  2. I completely agree that excuses sap us of our power to surge forward.Mostly we make excuses and procrastinate when we are faced with initiating a new project.
    Whenever you begin a project do you think about it for a while,or do you just leap into untested waters.Either way ,it is finally your belief in your innate capability to tackle any situation which dictates how far you’ll finally travel.
    Before you commence on a voyage you may have all the stuff on board your ship,except the courage to continue in the face of seeming odds.
    The only thing that separates the weak from the powerful is their estimation of their strengths.
    richmiraclefiles recently posted..NEGATIVE THINKING IS A SWEET INTOXICANTMy Profile

  3. Great post, Jodi! I am so glad I left Paris (big city + not very nice people & energy) to move to the countryside in the south of France. Now I am grateful every day for living here. I feel so fortunate btu it was a choice I made with my husband.

    At the moment I’m finding excuses not to excercise. It always comes last on my list. So, time to step up and go outside and move more.

    Big hugs, Karina

    • Hi Karina!
      I’m so glad you made that choice and are living your dream life in the country now. I bet it’s amazing!
      I hope this post inspired you to move your body more – you are inspiring me to do the same. So thank you for that!
      Hugs!
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..A Message from My Spirit GuideMy Profile

  4. Wonderful inspiration, Jodi! Yes, I, too, used to make excuses for not doing things, especially writing. But, this made me feel just as you described – miserable and at a loss.
    No more! I’m now doing what I love and feeling more empowered and lovable than ever. Wow! What a difference it makes to take the risks and reap the rewards.
    No excuses!
    Blessings to you!
    Martha Orlando recently posted..Joyful Journey!My Profile

  5. Really, I don’t think I could hear this reminder enough. It’s so easy to give weight and reality to these excuses, when really they are just air.

    I listened to a conversation with Seth Godin the other day that plays so nicely into this. The subject was Fear. His suggestion was to not try to deal with the Fear itself–that put’s us in a position of trying to negotiate with it and it’ll never work.

    Instead, pay attention to your habits and behaviors that you do in trying to Avoid fear…. like. Like telling yourself Excuses!!

    I agree with you that it’s an ongoing adventure…
    Shawn Tuttle recently posted..The Simplifying Wave Is CrestingMy Profile

    • Hi Shawn,
      You’re so right that excuses are really just air – there’s no form or grounding to them. And when we really take a look at them, they seem to float away.
      I’ll have to listen to Seth Godin’s talk on Fear, too!
      So glad you’re here! Hugs to you!
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..A Message from My Spirit GuideMy Profile

    • Hi Fran!
      It’s true that so often we really begin looking at our life and our excuses when we’ve fallen and aren’t sure how to get up. I think that the more conscious we are, the easier it becomes to nip the excuses in the bud before they become full blown. :)
      Big hug!
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..A Message from My Spirit GuideMy Profile

  6. Certainly I can see been there, seen it done it Jodi. Sometimes still doing it…what can I tell you!

    The best question for me to ask myself is “Am I coming from love or fear” the answer is usually pretty clear. Then I’m at choice, if it’s from a fear based place…shall I stick with this path or not. And if I choose to stick with the fear based path for a while, I’ve given up beating myself up about it.

    I’m always going to get another opportunity to choose love.

    Great article Jodi. Thank you.

    Love Elle
    xoxo
    Elle recently posted..Pity Or Power – You Choose.My Profile

    • Hi Elle!
      That’s such a powerful question – one that I constantly ask myself and will continue to ask. It just sums it all up. Choosing love is always the answer. Thank you for being such a beautiful example of doing exactly that. XO
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..A Message from My Spirit GuideMy Profile

  7. First of all, thank you Jodi for sharing so much! I do have a question – actually many …I know you speak of stopping the excuses, taking responsibility, etc., however, how does this work when our excuses very much have to do with reality? Such as, I really cannot pursue my passion because I have to repay the financial obligations I took on freely; or by pursuing my desire, it will negatively affect those closest to me. And the real biggie – I know that my passion is something that is good for me and no one else. It is not world changing – I really just want to do what I want to do. I have always dreamed of being in the mountains of Colorado and just immersing myself in the study of how our plant is formed – geology. This is purely a selfish desire but one that has been with me at least 20 years. It is not a pursuit that will pay the bills nor will it enlighten the universe – just me. Is the enlightenment of me a worthy pursuit? And the money thing really is the stopping point – no money means no paying of bills – creditors tend not to like that. So, I wait until I am ready – only 2 or 3 years, but I must wait. How do I wait with expectancy and not get discouraged? I work at a soul-less job just for the purpose to pay those bills – I lose a little bit of myself each day to this and I am afraid that by the time I get to the point that I can leave, I will have numbed myself to the point that it will no longer matter. How do I keep myself alive and vibrant while waiting? Lots of questions and no answers just yet….

    Blessings….

  8. Good post Jodi!

    I figured this deserved a comment since I just wrote on this topic as well.

    I believe organizing your priorities and breaking down your discomfort is key to getting rid of excuses. Excuses are born from discomfort avoidance and if we can recognize our discomfort, be willing to learn and adapt, excuses will disappear.

    I see excuses so much in my profession that I have coined it the excuse epidemic.

  9. It is obvious that excuses paralyzes self-improvement. There is even evidence that extreme recoveries from brain damage and other severe mental disorders, unexplainable by conventional neurology, are linked to tolerant environments (references: “Mind, Brain and Education” by Kurt Fischer and Christina Hinton, “The brain that changes itself” by Norman Doidge). However, the existence of the nocebo effect (the destructive version of placebo) shows that “tolerance” on the lines of “do not blame him/her because he/she cannot help it” does not work for this purpose. It must be radical non-blaming, which means avoiding to blame without excuses so that no excuses at all have to be used. And considering the stupidity that is destroying the world, such an intellectual leap is exactly what the world needs.