I recently changed my diet. I had been feeling pretty crappy for quite awhile whenever I ate anything, and a few weeks ago I got really sick and could hardly eat anything at all for a few days. I knew that something needed to change. But I didn’t want to change anything. Because for years, my body had been telling me exactly what I needed to eliminate. My body had been urging me to stop ingesting it. It would rebel after I ate it, and still I pushed on and ingested food that was quickly feeling like poison to my body.

My body no longer wanted sugar. In any form. At all.

But my mind wanted it all: Donuts. Brownies. Chocolate. Bread. Sugary Cereal. More Chocolate. Cookies. Chips. Candy. Fruit Juice. Even More Chocolate.

And the busier I got with work, the more I craved the junk. The more I needed it. (Or at least thought I needed it.)

Now, it’s not that I was eating that horribly – truth be told. I don’t eat meat. I don’t eat dairy. I don’t eat soy. I drink a green smoothie every day. I eat tons of fresh veggies.

And yet still I felt yucky. And my body, all of these years, was telling me that it was because of the sugar. Too much of it. White bread. Carbs. Sweet candy. If it had sugar, I wanted it.

And so two weeks ago, in the midst of feeling pretty horrible and not being able to keep much of anything down at all, I made a decision. I would officially cut out all sugar from my life. Period. For awhile. A long while. Until I felt better.

And I waited for the cravings to kick in.

All new food needed to be bought. Research needed to be done. I had to figure out which foods turned into sugar when they were digested: wheat, white rice, honey, potatoes. I had to learn how to cook without processed foods. I had to learn that there were actually foods left that I could have because for awhile there it felt like I was quickly running out of foods to eat.

I felt pretty yucky at first – like I was detoxing (because I was). Fever, chills, sweating, sore throat, headache. But still I pushed on. I was determined to eliminate it completely from my diet.

But I made it through. And I never once craved sugar.

And that confused me.

Except I just realized why: my body knew all along that sugar was bad for me. My mind was overriding it for all of these years. My soul knew that eating sugar was not a good idea. But my habits and comfort zone ran the show.

I liked grabbing a handful of chocolate-covered almonds each time I walked into the kitchen. I liked munching from the bag of potato chips while I watched my favorite TV shows. But I always felt worse after I ate these things. And I chose (for years) to ignore this feeling because I just wanted to be comfortable and happy.

And that really got me thinking: my eating habits were so similar to my life habits. 

I never wanted to leave my comfort zone. And I was so afraid of change and anything new, that I would rather harm myself (either by eating foods that weren’t good for me or by allowing my fear to keep me from pursuing opportunities) than stretch out of this place of safety and leap into something potentially amazing.

Because it’s this in-between time that scares me. I know that I’m always going to be fine. I know that I will find healthy food to eat and be fine. I know that I’ll be able to reach my dreams and end up okay.

But I dread this in-between time where I am searching for recipes and unsure of how to cook anything that won’t taste like cardboard. It’s so similar to how I also dread this in-between time where I have a dream and leap toward it but am flailing about in the freefall completely lost and worried and wondering if I should have jumped at all.

And now that I’m seeing the connection between not wanting my diet to change and being afraid to leap towards my dreams, my advice to myself is the same: to listen to my soul. To allow myself to be led by this wise part of myself that knows what’s best for me. To get out of my ego self (that part that wants to keep me safe and comfy) and to drop into this wise self (the part that actually knows what it’s talking about). 

So that’s what I’ll continue to do. And that’s what I encourage you to do.

I’m going to keep going forward with this sugar-free diet. And I’m going to do my best to embrace this in-between time. To be grateful that I am taking steps to feel healthy again. To be happy that I have chosen to take inspired action. To feel better. To feel more alive. To see this in-between period as a time of adventure and newness and opportunity rather that one to be dreaded and scary and avoided at all costs.

Tonight I had the most amazing dinner: Green Bean Pesto over Brown Rice Pasta.

It was so good, and as soon as I post this, I’m going to go back for seconds. And for dessert, I’m going to have almond-butter cookies using Xylitol instead of sugar and brown rice flour instead of wheat. And I’ll wash it all down with fresh lemonade with Stevia as the sweetener. And I’m actually excited about each of these.

Change can be a good thing. This in-between phase can be a fun place to be. Feeling healthier is definitely a great way to feel. And I’m finding that listening to my soul is truly becoming the only way to live. 

Are there any parts of your health where your soul is asking you to make some changes? Would you be willing to implement any of these suggestions today? 

We all deserve to feel our best and to live full lives. And sometimes all it takes is a little nudge from our soul and a little willingness on our part. 🙂

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