Veering Off the Self-Care Track

I am someone who doesn’t mind working. In fact, I love it. (Probably a little too much.)

I seriously can’t get enough of what I do. I still pinch myself when I look around and see that this is my life – that I am an inspirational writer who actually gets paid to share my voice.

And what’s even cooler is that I created this life – it wasn’t something that I fell into or that someone handed me one day when they were handing out jobs. Nope. I felt called to do this, and I worked really super hard to make this dream come true and to share my words with the world. And I kept working really hard. And then I worked even a little harder.

But it didn’t feel like work. I called it, “Inspired Drive.” Because I loved connecting, writing, and creating so much – I justified the long hours and the lack of self care and the unbalanced work to play ratio as simply being part of the calling. I didn’t have time to rest, I would say. There is too much to say and too much to do and too many words to share and too many people to connect with…

And through all of this mania, my soul simply listened. It knew that I would eventually come around. 

Because eventually my body would catch up to my mind and they would have a pow wow where my body would win out – where rest would win out – where balance would win out. What I had forgotten is that inspired drive is only inspired if I am truly coming from a calm, rested, cared for space. I had forgotten that for a moment (or two or three…). My body helped me remember that when it completely gave out on me a few weeks ago.

  • All of those late nights and early mornings.
  • All of those times when I said I would catch up my sleep schedule after I caught up with my work schedule.
  • All of those times when I ate in front of the computer while checking email.
  • All of those times when I fell into bed at night not even remembering what I had done that day because I was so tired.
  • All of those times when I worked straight through dinner and into the wee hours of the morning.
  • All of those times when I postponed taking a day off because I just didn’t have the time.
  • All of those times that I put this “inspired drive” before my own care – my own spirit – my own wellbeing.

All of those times finally caught up to me. And I couldn’t get out of bed. For days. And that scared me. A lot. I was so, so tired. My mind was fine – still reeling and ready to go. And so frustrated that my body and soul wouldn’t get out of bed. Why couldn’t they keep up? Come on already – I have too much to do! I don’t have time for this.

And this went on for three days. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling and continued to fight it. I didn’t like feeling weak. I cried to my husband that I may never get better. I was afraid that I would always feel this way – that I would never be able to feel strong again.

And then I surrendered. Finally. And I slept. And slept. And slept. And rested. And read. And watched movies. And stayed away from the computer. For a long time. For days. For almost a week.

It took me three days to wind down and surrender. It took three days for my mind to stop swirling and feeling manic and stressed and running a million miles a minute. It took me three days to remember that I am human. That I have a body that needs to be taken care of. That I need to walk my talk and practice what I share.

It took me three days to remember that I deserve my own love. I spend so many hours of each day sharing love and offering love and giving love and putting love out – but I so often forget to give it to myself.

Seriously.

Thankfully, I have some amazing friends who swooped in during this downtime and are helping me remember this when I start veering back into this place of working so much that I forget myself. They are helping me stay on the self-care track.

One of these friends loves me so much that she became my self-care coach. We have been checking in each week to make sure that I’m staying balanced and not overworking and remembering to take time for myself each day and not pushing so hard. And that is the most loving gift that I could have asked for. She is helping me remember to love myself a little more each day.

She reminds me that I’m not going to be able to help anyone else if I can’t get out of bed. She reminds me that none of this is going to matter if I am too tired to enjoy it. She reminds me that I am far too important to be treated this poorly. And that is definitely true. My hope is that I can eventually be my own self-care coach. That loving myself will have become such a habit that taking care of myself will be automatic. But for now, I am so appreciative of my coach and my friend. She is exactly what the doctor ordered, and for that I am grateful.

If you are also pushing yourself too hard, consider getting a self-care accountability partner: someone to check in on you once a week to make sure you’re staying balanced and taking time to rest and replenish your spirit. Or you could be your own coach, too! We are all way too important to let our to-do lists and our need to do it all take priority over our own care. 

Will you join me in going a little easier on yourself? Will you? I would love it if we were in this together. 

 

 

P.S. – Be sure to sign up for my Coming Back to Life Ecourse! It’s a lifechanger – truly. It’s a 6-week ecourse that begins on 10/1, and you’ll receive over $150 in bonus gifts immediately when you sign up! Yay! I hope you’ll join us!

 

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Comments

Veering Off the Self-Care Track — 48 Comments

  1. Jodi….A heartwarming post that is an incredibly important lesson for everyone who works non-stop. I used live my life similar to what you are describing. It is rich and a sort of clean living high….but when you crash…what a great reminder.

    I love that your friend offered her services as a ‘self care’ coach. Jodi…take care of yourself and listen in to your healing process. xxoo-Fran

  2. There’s an old saying, “take time to smell the roses,” and it’s easier said than done. Glad that you have support to remind you to observe your inner cues and take care of yourself. Appreciate your work here and be well ♥
    Gloria recently posted..Awesome Sauce BottleMy Profile

  3. I’m so happy you’re back to feeling your wonderful self Jodi. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of projects and doing the things we love…and forget that we need love ourselves too.

    Remembering to value our bodies, our souls and give them nourishment and nurturing allows us to continue with the wonderful projects, such as your new e-course which will help so many. I’m so thankful you had a friend to help you see how valuable you are to us…so take good care of yourself.

    Love Elle
    xoxo
    Elle recently posted..4 Effortless Ways To Enrich Your Life.My Profile

  4. Hi Jodi,
    I was talking to our friend Andrea DeBell a couple of weeks ago and she advised me to ask myself, “What kind of life am I creating for myself today?” I have it on a sticky note.

    There is no let up in the blogging world…ever…ever…ever. The internet never sleeps. As you found out we need too!

    I’ve been known to visualize a video camera of my life playing for the world…what would everyone see?

    Love you and thanks for sharing a message everyone can relate to! xo
    Tess The Bold Life recently posted..How To Stop Feeling Like A FailureMy Profile

    • I love that note from Andrea – such wise words!
      One of my dear friends told me about a similar question that she asks herself each morning: How can I love myself today?
      You’re absolutely right that there is never downtime in the blogging world, especially when the readers are all over the world. I love that so much – it just shows how connected we all are. But I also know that I have to get off of the train sometimes and just rest.
      I love you, too, and am so thankful for you! ♥
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Veering Off the Self-Care TrackMy Profile

  5. So glad to hear you are putting balance back into your life, Jodi. Yes! If we are not rested and looking out for our own well-being, can we truly be of service to others? Pushing ourselves is one thing, but pushing ourselves too hard will just topple us from the cliff into the morass of fatigue and frustration.
    Heal, my friend.
    Blessings!
    Martha Orlando recently posted.."But, if We Are the Body, Why Aren’t His Arms Reaching . . ."My Profile

  6. Jodi, I completely relate to this. I have slowed down so much, and I am now much happier and able to give in a better way–a more quality vs quantity way. Thank you for this reminder. We can trust that through caring for ourselves we are caring for our entire lives. Glad you are feeling better!
    Lesley King recently posted..You Are LovedMy Profile

  7. Hi Jodi,

    A coach once told me that I needed to always be mindful of self care especially because my purpose is to help others with their creative release. Apparently, it’s very easy to get caught up in loving others. :) I’m glad you are back on track.

  8. Jodi,

    You are so well connected and so inspirational to so many people, and yes, it’s time to take care of yourself too! :) I was dealing with some sleep deprivation too recently. It’s hard when you know you can get so much out of the minutes you have deep into the evening (mornings aren’t so much my problem — I like to sleep through them!). I wish you well moving forward! :)
    Victor recently posted..Our Greatest Teachers Are the “short” Ones | VictorSchueller.comMy Profile

    • Thanks, Victor! I can definitely relate to that – packing in as much into each minute and then looking up and realizing how late it is. Yikes! But it’s hard to stop when it’s so much fun! I just think that it’s all about balance and learning that my rest is equally as important as anything else. Glad we’re in this together! :)
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Veering Off the Self-Care TrackMy Profile

  9. Hi Jodi,

    Thank you for sharing :) Like you, I absolutely love what I do…and here is the “funny part”…because I love it so incredibly much…the creating and connecting, there are some days when I would stay in *all day* swept up in the energy, except that I live mere steps from the Pacific Ocean…and my home is in a no cell signal zone..which means if I want to text or call I literally have to walk those few steps to the beach to use my phone! I find the symbolism lovely…for a few times daily I am “forced” to go to the beach..or when I speak with clients, it is literally from the beach :) Universe way of reminding me of the importance of fresh air and natural beauty.

    Nourishment and refreshment are essential for us to *enjoy* our creations..you do such a marvelous job of sharing, I am delighted to know you have a circle of support and love that reminds you to receive as graciously as you give :)
    Joy recently posted..Fresh. Free. Light. (A Celestial Celebration).My Profile

    • Hi Joy! I love that you have to go to the beach several times a day – what a beautiful way to live! I definitely don’t get outside as much as I should, but I have a feeling if I lived that close to the water I would make sure I did. :) We are about 3 hours from the ocean, and one of these days I’m going to clear some space to go hang out there. ♥
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Veering Off the Self-Care TrackMy Profile

  10. Glad to hear that you are trying to become your own self-care coach ….me too!! My focus is on my body also, but in a different way. I want to lose weight, I want to feel fitter, I want to eat healthier …for too long I have focused only on my mind and soul, but as you say the body is an important part of this equation too as no body no manifestation!

    • Thanks so much! I can definitely relate to your only focusing on your mind and soul – me, too! I sort of forgot that I was in a body, and now I’m slowing coming back and settling into it again – having fun with it and realizing how amazingly resilient it is after so many years of neglect. I hope you’re finding the same thing, too! ♥
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Veering Off the Self-Care TrackMy Profile

  11. Such an important lesson! It’s fabulous that you love doing what you’re doing but so important to get the balance right between your passion and your self. Taking the time to care for yourself also reminds you that you are worth spending the time on. Nothing so rewarding as channelling your inner Aphrodite!
    Vanessa King recently posted..Think before you write…My Profile

  12. Thank you for sharing this deep, personal part of your life with us Jodi. For some people (like me), it may have been something too difficult to post for the world to see, but then it reminds us that we’re human and we all need to take care of our bodies so they can take care of us. So looking at it in that way, there’s no shame at all! You help so many people every day, but we all have to remember to help ourselves first and foremost, which is hard sometimes when your heart is so big and open, wanting to help others all the time!
    So glad that your body reminded you to take care of it and that you’re feeling better and back to your wonderful self!
    xxoo

    • Hi Carolyn!
      You’re so right that exposing our perceived imperfections isn’t always an easy thing to do. But what I’m learning is that when I do exactly that, it allows me to show up as just me – without having to try to appear to be something that I’m not: perfect. :) I’m so glad we are here together on this journey of waking up and taking care of ourselves! XO ♥
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Veering Off the Self-Care TrackMy Profile

  13. So much love to you for taking care of yourself! Isn’t it funny how, just when you give in to your body’s demands, they seem to get much more manageable. I think the body is like a little child – it screams ever louder while it’s being ignored, but calms down pretty quickly when given the attention it deserves.
    Thank you for being an inspiration!
    Much love and blessings,
    Sibylle
    Sibylle recently posted..On The MoveMy Profile

  14. I feel like this a lot, like I need to keep going, there’s no time for stopping. So far, I’ve been able to balance work and self-care, but I almost feel guilty about it. Like I’m not doing enough. Thank you for reminding me that it IS enough and self-care is so, so important.
    Cassandra recently posted..Learning to Love…YourselfMy Profile

    • Hi Cassandra! I can totally relate to feeling like you’re not doing enough or feeling guilty about self care. I find that when I take time to just watch a movie, I’ll feel pulled to go back and work, and I have to force myself to sit there and watch it. It seems so frivolous. But on a soul level, I know how important these breaks from work truly are. ♥
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Veering Off the Self-Care TrackMy Profile

  15. This has happened to me recently too and I’ve learned to just give in to it. I’m actually much more productive if I let myself spend a day reading or watching movies on the couch than if I try to push through. Thanks for sharing your experience of this :)
    Leanne recently posted..Is Reassurance Really Helpful?My Profile

  16. Jodi,
    I so know this feeling so well and my body responded last year with a big wake up call so I had to slow down and it is only now that I am focusing on rejoining the world ( especially that of blogging) in an almost full-time way. I have learned to rest and meditate more and take a serious path to vibrant wellness and this comes with huge doses of self-care.
    Thanks for sharing your recent journey and I love Tess’ comments especially about blogging- namaste ♡
    Suzie Cheel recently posted..How Often Do You Allow Yourself To Just BE?My Profile

  17. A beautiful reminder to keep yourself on the priority list in life so that you can continue to share you passion with others! As Life Coaches, we have to “walk our own talk” so that we are always coming from our own greatness and able to inspire that greatness in others. This is a key lesson I have been taught along the way, and one that I constantly have to keep reminding myself of…thanks for the reminder! :)

  18. Oh, Jodi, I SO know how this one goes. I’m actually working with a coach at the moment to help me get back on top of creating boundaries for myself so that even if I’m really enjoying my work and WANT to get on with doing the next thing, I remember to take time out for me (and especially, time out to sleep!)

    Thank you for an inspiring and much needed reminder that I’m not the only one. Off to share this with my tweeps now :-)

    Blessings

    TANJA

  19. I love this Jodi and I think you are a your own best friend and that means you know enough to admit when something is wrong and care enough about yourself to accept support and encouragement when you need it. But as you know its you who is responsible for your growth. No matter what anyone says if you don’t take the actions to make your life better nothing changes.

    What is that saying when the student is ready the teacher will appear. Keep up the great work. The best coach’s teachers and mentors are the ones that have coaches teachers and mentors and they continue to grow.

    • Dawn! More beautiful advice – it’s so true that I have to be ready to change or nothing will really change. And through this journey, I’m definitely seeing some patterns – I’ll take care of myself for a little while and then fall right back into the working all the time pattern. Baby steps. So glad we’re on this journey together. Thank you for all of your beautiful love and support. ♥
      Jodi – Soul Speak recently posted..Veering Off the Self-Care TrackMy Profile

  20. Dear Jodi, I’m thrilled that you feel better and have a coach to check in on you. I had a feeling you were burning out. That’s an appropriate term isn’t it…burning out. Like a light bulb.
    We do tend to care for others more than ourselves. Why we are so stingy to ourselves is a mystery to me…but I do the same thing. I believe we all do. The good thing is that we don’t have to be perfect to be of use. We simply have to be honest. I will be praying for you as you launch your e-course. You have so much to offer, plus you have an army of amazing people working with you. It’s sooo exciting!
    Sending love sweet lady!
    Leah recently posted..The Possibilities are EndlessMy Profile

  21. Your post hit me right away when I saw the words… You matter! We all need a break from life and esp. from the never-ending internet and all of our contacts. I’ve just gone back to work recently after having the summer off. I even thought about taking a break from the whole blogging thing. But I think if you take a break before you hit the point you did that would be a good, no great thing.

    Hope you’re well now and remember to take that break long before the breaking point because…. You matter!!!

    xoxo
    Betsy
    Betsy/Zen Mama recently posted..Our Own TED Talk – Life Is Easy. Why Do We Make It So Hard?My Profile

  22. I am sending this to a friend who I feel need to be more positive. He views a “NO” as a disapproval of himself when people may already have other commitments to meet. I also dislike it when he entertains acts of violence towards people he used to view as friends. I had felt like GIVING UP MY FRIENDSHIP and may be more with him. I was very demoralized.

    I decided to help lead him back to the path of positiveness. I truly believe that much of what we do stems from our thoughts and if we change our thoughts, we change the way in how we deal with adversity in our lives. I am sure he will benefit from all these.

    Every one need to tell themselves, “I accept myself for who I am, I am alright with not being perfect. I accept that I do not need any one to validate who I really am and what I am about because I understand and accept my limitations and strengths. I accept that I love myself enough to expect and attract all the good that life has to offer.”

  23. Hi Jodi

    I so relate to what you wrote. I have been very guilty of pushing myself in every area of my life to be my best self. But like you I forgot the importance of self-care and this led to a burn out. I was unable to do very much for several years. Thankfully I recovered, but I still have the tendency to push myself too hard and to try to get just one more thing done.
    I have begun an experiment into self-love, trying to listen to my body , mind and soul and take small self- nurturing steps by giving myself what I need today, rather than searching for external wisdom.
    I think it is very true to say that the gifts we have to share with the world will never be fully realised unless we walk our own talk. And for me, that is loving myself first, then sharing from my own inner abundance.
    Susan Telford recently posted..As I began to love myselfMy Profile

  24. Oh yeah, if you don’t listen to your body, mind, heart and soul, they will dump you on your butt and MAKE you listen! Lol. It’s such an important point that when you’re so out of practice at downtime, it takes days to get to rest time! It’s hard when you love what you do to let it alone, but when you do you get renewed energy for it…and of course, you have your health, which is way more important! Great post, love it! x
    Donna recently posted..Podcast: When You Get Stuck On Your Big DreamMy Profile

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