Many of us have lived our entire lives with a deep, dark secret: we fear that if we showed the world our true selves – the dorky, not-so-cool, don’t-have-it-all-figured-out selves – we wouldn’t be accepted.
We worry that the person who we really are wouldn’t be welcomed in this world. And we worry about the biggest consequence of all – that we wouldn’t be loved.
And that’s scary. Because at our core, that’s all any of us want. That’s it. Just to be loved. By ourselves and by others.
So it makes perfect sense that we hide our vulnerabilities and our imperfections and instead show the world our “representative” – who we think we should be.
And we all do it – we all play the game. Until one day, the need to break free from this mask and this role and scream to the world, “This is me!” becomes too big to contain any longer. We are exhausted from trying to keep ourselves hidden and perfect. We are tired of trying to be the person that we imagine everyone wants us to be.
And so we bravely take one step forward. And we bravely say (sometimes in a whisper at first): Here I am.
And then we shrink a little bit. And we wait. Fully expecting the rocks to be thrown and the names to be called and the friends to leave and the isolation to begin.
And we keep waiting. And waiting.
But what actually happens is in sharing our truth, we allow others to do the same. So instead of being shunned, we are embraced. Instead of being hated, we are loved.
This is what I have found to be true most of the time. I have lived a large part of my life shying away from outing the parts of me that may be seen as “weird” or “out there” or a bit “woo woo.” But what I’ve found is that the more I share these parts of who I am and what I truly believe, the more I am embraced and applauded and loved. How amazing is that?
You know why? Because we all love authenticity. We can smell it a mile away. And we are drawn to it. We love it when someone steps into their power. The energy and high that we get from watching someone show the world their true self transfers over to us, and we find ourselves stepping into our own power because of it.
I was afraid to talk about the soul and spirituality and the afterlife and my personal beliefs and all of these big topics that so many of us are curious about and maybe are a bit timid to bring up. I definitely was – and still you stayed and supported me. You never judged.
And I thank you for that. Your openness is making it so much easier for me to come out fully as I am. And I hope that my openness makes it easier for you to do the same.
Now, I’m definitely not Pollyanna. I know that there are times where we come out as ourselves and that part isn’t loved and appreciated. I know this. And not having this love and support in our time of vulnerability can be devastating. This is when we really need to go to our core tribe of friends who will support us and love us no matter what. I suggest sharing your authentic self with them first and working your way out to potential authenticity squashers. You’ll get stronger and will be more ready for any opposition this way. In fact, you’ll be so strong and sure of who you are that you’ll most likely find that it simply will no longer matter whether this person or that person doesn’t approve. You’ll be so strong in who you are that their approval will no longer determine your actions or your happiness. It will come from within by then – you will be so proud of yourself for showing up as you that no other love and approval will be needed.
And getting to this point just takes one brave step forward. One step into the light where you let the world know that you are here. And that this is who you are. And that you are enough. More than enough. You are wonderful and perfect and beautiful and brave all wrapped up into one soul that lights up the world.
That is you at your strongest. That is each of us when we are fully living in our truth.
And that is what I wish for us all.
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Very sweet. At some point or other, we think must appear a certain way to be loved and appreciated. Our experiences define these moments. Also, sometimes we see how others are perceived for saying or doing something and if that is not complimentary, we hesitate to repeat that for fear of being laughed at. Nobody likes that. Then again, we must be true to ourselves – and that’s where the struggle comes in, I guess.
The latest post on Alex Blackwell’s blog today, where Paula talks about healing limiting beliefs ties in with your blog post very nicely, Jodi. 🙂
That authentic place feels good, doesn’t it? I love living in that space. The cool side effect is that everybody else kinda gravitates toward you when you’re authentic to yourself as well.
This is just lovely Jodi. You attract who you are my friend, a beautiful and most definitely authentic soul who lights up the world. And yes, it might be about feel the fear and do it anyway but it’s the most liberating, expanding thing we can do for ourselves. We are tuning in to the divine within.
Thanks for this wonderful reminder.
Elle
xoxo
Thank you once again for modeling the way, Jodi! So many of us grew up learning to hide our vulnerabilities, either because we were specifically told to be strong or we’ve learned that showing them gets us hurt. But, in the end, as you said, we’re all drawn to authentic love. The “messy” part of us is the part to which others can relate, not the perfect part, because, deep down, we all want our messy parts to be loved and accepted. Thank you for showing up as your authentic self, and for sharing your vulnerabilities with us! Lots of love.
It always amazes me how long the journey is, for most of us, to get to that point of just being who we truly are……I get intrigued by asking the questions of why it is that way…….and I love discovering the answers :)………..loved reading this Jodi…….thx for sharing….
Hi Jodi,
I can vouch for the truth and power of this, having made a commitment to being as transparent as I dare to be, every day. I embarked on that path a little over a year ago and have stayed true to it for the most part. I sit down and ask, “What am I afraid to reveal right now?” Then I write it down and post it where others can see. As you said, I more often meet with affirmation rather than judgment. And I don’t think I could even quanitify the personal rewards that self-exposure, and stepping into my power in this way, have brought me. Inspiring post!
Jodi, we are doing similar work and have similar names, I’m sure it all means something, haha! I’m looking forward to developing further in this area and am grateful to have such inspiring company 🙂 Wishing you all the best with your wonderful offerings and getting the word out to those who are ready to hear it <3
This is beautiful! ….and so true! I love, “We all love authenticity. We can smell it a mile away!” 🙂
It is so important that we share our authentic voice, there is alawys someone out there needing to hear it and be inspired. A lovely post Jody, and an important reminder to be ourselves.
Jodi….what a lovely post. How right you are that most of us are dipping our toes into the water of the ‘real self’, only to pull it out again because of our fears.
Kudos to you for taking that leap and being yourself …in spite of fear….to your readers. The results speak for themselves. Fran
It is so true…you hide away, terrified of the light, then you step into the light and even if people do throw a few rocks (and some do!), you don’t care because those same people threw rocks when you were NOT being yourself. At least this way, you are being who you are…and as you say, most other people delight in authenticity! x
Vulnerability is so hard, but I’ve had some amazing things happen when I opened my heart and my mind lately. Showing up and being true to who I am definitely opened doors to happiness that I probably would have missed if I was busy trying to fit into a role of someone else.