I will admit that I banged my laptop around probably harder than I should have to try to get it to stop. I said a few words that I don’t care to repeat here. And I have spent the last few moments fuming. Technological issues are one of my hot buttons and, for whatever reason, when things aren’t working properly, I can quickly spiral downwards into a full-blown tantrum.
But somewhere in the midst of this fury, I remembered that I had a choice. Yes, it was perfectly natural for me to feel frustrated that my fan sounds like an airplane taking off – making it hard to reflect and write. Yes, I would be justified in feeling this way. But how is this helping me? How is my anger about this situation going to change it? It’s not.
So I can choose to go on feeling frustrated and tight stomached or I can choose to shift it all toward feeling grateful that I have a computer that works well enough that I can write this right now. I can realize that even though I am not able to control this hardware malfunction, I can control my reaction to it.
And that’s such a valuable lesson.
There is so much in our lives that we simply can’t control. It doesn’t matter how badly we want to change things or fix things – there are times when we simply don’t have the power to do so.
And this is one of those times for me.
How often do we allow our joy and gratefulness to be replaced by suffering and frustration? How often could we have made a conscious shift and moved through this situation rather than resisted it?
So that’s what I’m doing right now.
I’m taking a deep breath. Feeling gratitude for my computer and even sending it love (it truly works so hard). And then I’m taking another deep breath. And I’m going to do this until I am calmer and filled with peace.
And then I’m going to smile.
Because, really, this is so silly when you think about it. Is it really that terrible that my fan is making extra noise? Is it?
This is such a beautiful exercise for each of us to practice.
Perspective. Gratitude. Breath. Joy.
All in the present moment.
All right now.
And while my frustration isn’t completely gone, I will say that it’s dissipated quite a bit. It’s all about being mindful and conscious and awake.
What a beautiful way to live.