Shared Wisdom Guest Post
Featuring Shann Vander Leek
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. – Benjamin Spock
I’ve witnessed and been involved in situations where personal power is traded for acceptance and peace at any cost. Life coaching clients, family, friends and yours truly, can find ourselves in situations where we relinquish our personal power and over-empower others.
If you are a highly sensitive creature like I am, these encounters can bring forward feelings of sadness, betrayal and confusion.
Recently I was involved in a conversation about a subject matter that I knew very little about. Upon spelunking into the conversation to share an example of my rudimentary understanding, I was pounced on and treated like a fool. It never occurred to me that I would be attacked for sharing my point of view. The exchange was unsettling because I am strong, intelligent and creative. Instead of saying, “Shove Off,” I let myself slide into a place of insecurity.
I gave my power to a person who was in the mood to behave badly.
The next day my husband and I discussed the scene and he counseled me to shrug off the encounter. Then, my brilliant husband asked me why I’d given my power away? Great question from the all-knowing and loving oracle!
In this particular instance, I knew I was out gray mattered by a person who spent years interested in areas of study I had only just begin to think about. BUT, I thought it was safe to climb in, share, and explore. When the terrain became too challenging, I tried to explain my position, eventually lost my footing, and slipped away into a sink hole.
This encounter led me to dive deeper into the curious cave of personal power and trust. Owning your power is an integral part of personal happiness, fulfilling connections, and achieving your potential. You give your power away when you make someone outside of you more important than what you hold inside of you.
You give away your power when you …
- Doubt yourself.
- Try to make everyone happy.
- Over-empower others by looking for approval and validation, thus giving them the power to hurt you.
- Forget that you know what you’re doing, and you are good at it.
- Have poor boundaries.
- Allow yourself to be intimidated by bluster and emotional assaults from other people.
- Don’t honor and share your truth.
You keep your power when you …
- Learn to say “No” and mean it.
- Stand up for yourself and believe in yourself, no matter what.
- Stand on the courage of your convictions.
- Ask for what you need and want.
- Embrace the fact you have the right be treated respectfully by other people.
- Be detached and practice detachment by observing other people’s behavior without attachment to the outcome.
- Spend time with people who are kind and considerate in the midst of a spirited discussion.
Owning your power means speaking your truth, honoring your sensitivity, and believing in yourself. Your life experience, education, personal relationships, and curiosity make you wise. Always believe in yourself and if need be, tell the bullies to shove off!
Successful television advertising maven turned transformation goddess, yogini, and author of Life on Your Terms. Shann Vander Leek is the founder of True Balance International, co-founder of Anxiety Slayer, and creator of the Transformation Goddess Experience. Unconventional and delightfully curious, she inspires professional women in transition to live life on their terms and create more balance in their lives through coaching, self-care, and creative expression. Check out her luscious new offering for women who are ready to reclaim their feminine sovereignty at www.transformationgoddess.com.
Thank you so much, Shann, for such a powerful message! I know that we have all been in situations where we have given away our power, and this is such a great reminder for all of us to always speak our truth and honor ourselves.
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