A few days ago, I wrote about leaping toward our dreams – putting both feet in – not allowing ourselves to have a safety net. Tony Robbins calls this going to an island and burning the frickin’ boats to make sure we are all in! Well, as I sit here typing this post from an office completely void of any furniture (except for the card table that I am sitting at now, which shakes with each letter that I type) – I would have to say this: I have officially burned my boats.
- photo by Andy Atkinsin
Yesterday, I watched the remnants of a dream that I carried with me and held onto for many years drive away. I sold all of my office furniture. My beautiful desk that I was once so happy to sit at every day is now in someone else’s office for them to sit at and enjoy every day. This wasn’t an ordinary desk – it was one that represented success to me. It represented making it – being there – living the dream. And for awhile, while sitting at this desk, I started to believe that it was working – my dreams were coming true. I had the beautiful desk, the amazing studio, the gift business that I started from scratch – all of the pieces that should’ve added up to a happy and fulfilling life, right?
The only problem was that I didn’t feel fulfilled. I was growing in a different direction, and I was hanging onto this life – this furniture – this vision because it was comfortable, safe, and known. But it no longer fed my soul, and that’s something that has taken me years to admit to and years to do something about. I knew that I needed to do something drastic – something that wouldn’t allow me to stay in this comfortable space. Something that would force me to get out there and start living this dream of mine where I am an inspirational writer and I pay all of my bills through my words.
An inspirational writer doesn’t need all of this space. An inspirational writer doesn’t need all of this furniture. We moved out of this studio almost two years ago and brought the furniture with us – into a much smaller space. We were still holding onto this dream – even though it was no longer our dream. And isn’t that true for so many of us? We visualize how we want our lives to be and then when we are actually living that life and it no longer feels right we are reluctant to let it go because we worked so hard to make it come true. I get that, I really do. But there comes a time in each of our lives where we have to ask ourselves some tough questions – is it more important to hang onto that dream or more important to give yourself permission to let it go – so you can be free to dream again?
I want to dream again. I don’t want to hang onto an old dream that no longer feels right simply because I spent years living it. So now, as I look around my office, I get to decide how I would like to fill my office. What makes me feel good? What will inspire me so that I can hopefully inspire others?
This is definitely not a comfortable feeling to look around and see so much space – so much emptiness. My first inclination was to run out and buy a new desk to fill this void. And then I wondered what would happen if I simply sat with this feeling of discomfort for a bit and really felt it and embraced it. What would happen if I paused for a moment during this journey from here to there? How different would I feel to take some time in this space in between these two worlds and just be?
So that is what I am doing today. I am sitting. I am allowing myself to be in this moment of letting one dream go because it was time to welcome a new dream. I am taking some time to say goodbye to yesterday’s dream. I am respecting it enough to give it this time for closure.
And then tomorrow (or whenever it feels right), I will begin the journey of re-creating my new life and filling my space with only that which feels right and makes my soul sing.
Even though this isn’t the easiest space to be in at the moment, I know that this change is exactly what I need to make room for so many wonderful new dreams. I feel so much lighter and so much more free.
I would love to hear your own story of how you are burning bridges in your own life!
Knowing that we are all in this together is so helpful. Your love and support help me continue to move forward toward this life that I know I am meant to live.
So much gratitude,
P.S. – I promise to take a picture of my new office once my new vision is complete. (And I can locate the camera.)