Like many of you, I have made a lot of friends online. And I have formed bonds and relationships that I know will last forever. We are able to immediately connect on a deep level – on a soul level. And I am so grateful for that.
I also have made many in-person friends: people that I have met face-to-face. Some that I have known for years and others that I have recently met at conferences and established a tight friendship with.
What’s interesting to me is that I don’t feel that my online friends aren’t as close to me as my in-person friends. The “me” that you see here is the “me” that they see in real life. So why would it freak me out when an online friend wanted to meet in person?
That’s exactly what I had to ask myself when she asked me to get together a few weeks ago. All of my insecurities immediately began to surface:
What if I wasn’t as soulful as she thought I would be?
What if she didn’t feel that the me that I came across as online is how the real me comes across in person?
What if she didn’t think I looked how she had imagined?
What if she thought that I had it more together than I really did, and she was disappointed?
You get the point – the “what ifs” were running rampant in my mind – so much so that I needed to go lie down for a bit to catch my bearings and calm them down.
And then I realized something:
I am living a present progressive kind of life. (We all are.)
Excuse me while my editor-geek self steps in to explain what I mean by this:
Remember when we learned the different parts of speech in English class? Well, the present progressive simply pairs a to be verb with an -ing word, which indicates an ongoing action.
Yes! My life was lived this way – I didn’t have it all figured out. I was a work in progress, and this progress was ongoing. This was a true aha moment for me.
I was getting myself all worked up over meeting my friend because I assumed that she would want me to be “there” already – living a past tense kind of life where:
I was successful (however she defined it).
I cherished each moment and immediately learned from every lesson.
I lived my life with complete and total faith.
I took the leap and never looked back.
Rather than my ongoing, present progressive kind of life where:
I am in the process of coming back to life.
I am living each moment (as best I can) in awareness and gratitude.
I am striving to be authentic, open, and vulnerable.
I am looking inward – knowing that the answers always come from my soul.
We are all living in the present progressive, aren’t we?
We are never finished – we are never past tense.
We are always in progress – taking in all of the lessons as we continue along our journey.
And this makes me feel better. This makes all of those insecurities begin to melt away. We are in this together. And I know that my friend doesn’t expect me to be “there” and have figured it all out. She just wants to see me. (Like in the movie, Avatar, when they greet each other by saying, “I see you.” And isn’t that all any of us has ever wanted?
I am all for living a life in progress. Continuing to move forward – continuing to learn and grow – continuing to come back to our core. That is where true life can live – not in the past, but in the ongoing present. Let’s all remember that the next time our “what ifs” start to kick in. We are beautiful works in progress, and that works for me.
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Yes ! we are a work in progress… I think if we were finished we wouldn’t need to be here any more.
Trying to let my own insecurities down in so many places every day.
Thank you for sharing your soul’s progress with us
You’re so right that if we weren’t works in progress, there would be no need for us to be here. ♥ So glad you’re sharing your journey with me. 🙂
Jodi, I understand the panic you felt in the moment! I’ve felt that way to when a sister-blogger wanted to meet me in-person too. I appreciate how you used the discomfort for personal growth and have encouraged us all to value ourselves as a work in progress.
Hi Sandra,
Thanks so much for your kind words. I, too, love seeing the lessons in everyday events and then sharing them here. So glad we’ve connected. ♥
Beautifully and simply expressed as always Jodie 🙂
Once we have accepted that we are work in progress then we can really live with abandon, as if (as a friend wrote the other day) someone left the gate open! We can edit the script of our life as we go along. I like that idea a lot!
Have a joy filled weekend.
Rebecca x
Hi Rebecca,
Thank you! 🙂
Oh, I really like that idea, too! Thanks for sharing!
Hugs to you!
I met my friend online and she was exactly how I thought she was from online and we hit it off fantastically. We both were real online so when we met it there was no surprises. Whenever you fear something; just jump in!
Hi Lisa,
I’m so glad your meeting went well. I know that mine will, too. For me, it’s always the anticipation that drives me a bit batty beforehand. Once I get to whatever is scaring me, I’m completely fine. I agree with you to just jump right in! 🙂
Hi Jodi,
I look at it this way – if I was already “there” then there would be no reason to even be here! If I knew everything, and had done everything I came here to do this time around, then there would be no reason to stick around. Plus, any time left would be so boring – nothing to learn or look forward to with excitement.
Plus, odds are anyone you meet from your online association is likely to simply look forward to getting to know you more, not be judgemental about who you are and what you know at the present time. At least, let’s hope so! Let us know how it goes 🙂
Hi Julie,
You’re absolutely right that it would be pretty boring here if we already had it all figured out. Glad we’re learning together! 🙂
This rings so true with me. As if there’s some grand expectation when we come out into real life from behind our computer screens!!! Love how you’ve re-framed it.
Thank you, Marcie! 🙂
Oh, Jodi! I love this. I have to giggle a bit because I’m pretty sure that person who you’re referring to here is me. 🙂 I’m totally smiling because I am the absolute epitome of a person in progress…I truly hope I always present myself that way because, really, I’m just fumbling around here, doing the best I can like we all are.
I am far more interested in Seeing Jodi exactly as she is in whatever moment I see her. If there’s one thing I know it’s that it’s all changing, moment by moment by moment. A few moments ago I was scrambling to get my girls out of school on time–I was feeling impatient/a little frustrated…doing my best to take deep breaths. Now, the house is quiet, I’m breathing more deeply, I get to slow down and read your beautiful words, I’m about to go make a cup of really good coffee. Tthe calm is returning (though my mind is a bit restless, wondering what I’m going to write this next blog post about). So, that’s it–it’s all a moment by moment beautiful unfolding.
I think I’m truly learning to let go of expectations and just show up for whatever is…I’m finding that that is where the gifts are (not ever in the expectations but in the here and now as it IS). We’re certainly all in this together. 🙂 Real is more important to me than just about anything, in whatever form that may take in any given moment.
I so look forward to the day we can sit side by side and chat…from right where we are!
Sending so much love to you, beautiful one,
Julia
You got me! ♥
I, too, look so forward when we can sit down side by side. I know that our time is coming soon. I sent you an email about all of this, and it somehow was deleted before I could send it. I took it as a sign that it needed to be a post instead. 🙂
I honestly can’t wait to meet. It will be so much fun to sift through it all and simply laughing at how silly it all is. I can’t wait for that. Our souls have been planning this for awhile now…
Sending you so much love.