Have you ever reached a point in your life where you knew you needed to make a decision – do something – follow through fully and completely? Were you able to do it?
I am currently at that point; I have reached an impasse. The time has come where I need to make a decision: do I continue to follow my intuition and go where my soul leads me or do I close off this portal and go back to allowing my ego to run the show? It’s time to decide once and for all – it’s time to put both feet in. No more dabbling. No more wavering. It’s becoming too exhausting to balance on this fence. I am tired of the constant kicking and screaming that is going on inside my mind.
I am writing a book. It’s a book about my experience with something magical – something mind altering – something extraordinary. It’s about my reawakening as a result of this experience – my reemergence into this world. It’s about the process – the lessons – the message – the rebirth.
A few months ago, I was in the groove. Things were flowing. Words poured out of me. I wrote 100 pages and barely had time to come up for air. And then it stopped. The spout didn’t dry up – I purposefully turned it to “off.” I closed off the possibility of any more words.
Why? Because I am scared. This book is my heart, and writing it requires me to be fully present and fully in it – a place that is sometimes hard to go to. It requires me admitting to the world that I have something to say. It opens me up to recognizing that the world could have something to say back. Writing this book means that I am fully committing to having both feet in this new world – this world of the soul – a world that I never imagined that I would be a part of.
I have experienced an awakening, and some days all I want to do is crawl back into my past and live in that darkness forever. However, the light that I am now surrounded by is too bright to ignore. And even though I feel fragile and raw and unsure about any of this – something inside of me knows that I need to keep writing. I need to finish my book. I need to put it into the world. I need to complete this process for me – and also for you.
I need to put my feelings of fear aside, at least for awhile, and tap into my higher self. I need to continue to let my soul call the shots – it hasn’t led me astray yet, and I know that it never will. I need to stop writing about writing a book and actually write a book.
I have something to say. We all do.
And haven’t we allowed our fears to be in control for long enough? Isn’t it time for each of us to embrace our deeper knowing – and write about it, create with it, and live it? We must do this. It’s why we are here.