Making Better Use of My Energy

enjoy the present copy

Today was an interesting day.

For months, I would look at the calendar and my stomach would sink. For months, I knew that I had to do something that I didn’t want to do – something that needed to be done.

And while I won’t get into the specifics of what that something was, I will say that I did it.

And all of the worrying beforehand and stories that played out in my mind about how it was all going to play out didn’t come to pass. Not even close. 

I have lost sleep over this. I have cried about this. I have gotten angry about this. I have felt anxious about this. All before it even happened.

I had worked myself up into a complete tizzy over this thing that I needed to do.

And when I actually did it, it was easy. It went smoothly. Everything was fine. Absolutely fine. No friction. No feathers ruffled. No hurt feelings or resentments or anything even close.

So basically, I feel a little bit silly now for wasting so much of my precious energy on this moment.

I started looking at other times in my life when I followed a similar pattern and found that this was pretty typical for me.

Before my husband and I started our business, we taught middle school for a semester. We quickly realized that our dreams of working for ourselves were ready to be brought to life, and we dreaded telling the kids that we were leaving so soon. While we became close with many of them, our souls were speaking so loudly to us and saying that it was time to take our leap of faith. I made myself sick thinking about telling them. I felt like I was abandoning them and that they would be devastated. What actually happened was that we told them (expecting tears and sorrow), and within five minutes whey were asking if that meant it was a free day and wanted to see if they could play computer games.

I was surprised at how well they took it, and I realized that I wasted so much energy worrying about something that never came to be. Fearing how upset they would be was something that I had made up in my mind – a story I told myself that had no basis of truth. A story that I had believed – even though it wasn’t real.

There are also times when I would expend tons of energy worrying about something that actually did end up with the outcome I worried about – such as having a root canal or being in a car accident or getting sick or getting divorced or losing a loved one.

But I’m realizing more and more that worrying is powerlessness at its best. Worrying didn’t change the outcome of any of the examples above. The outcome was going to happen exactly how it was meant to, regardless of how much energy I put into worrying about it beforehand.

What a wake-up call that is for me. If the outcome is going to be the same, then wouldn’t I rather be happy and positive and joyful and grateful leading up to whatever it is that I’m afraid of? At least then I would be enjoying my days beforehand, regardless of how the actual day that I had been worrying about went.

I am so tired of making up these stories in my mind. I am so tired of creating outcomes that rarely come to pass. I am so tired of working myself into such a tight knot because I’m positive that I know how something is going to turn out, when in reality I have absolutely no idea and never will until I’m actually in the situation.

And today’s situation helped me see how all of this energy that I expended could have been put toward more positive, uplifting, healing things. And that’s where I want it to go from now on.

So while I’m not sure if this is something that I’ll be able to change overnight, I am going to be much more conscious of it. I’m going to start noticing the stories that I’m telling myself and the worries that I’m fretting over and the thoughts that are circling in my mind about an upcoming situation that I’m fearing. And I’m going to give myself permission to breathe, to trust, and to do my best to stay in the present moment. This is where life lives – not somewhere in the future. And if I can focus on being grateful right here in this moment, then the rest just tends to work itself out. And on the rare times that the outcome isn’t what I had hoped for, at least I wasn’t completely miserable leading up to it.

It’s definitely worth thinking about. I am just not okay with giving away my precious energy to worrying about what may or may not come to be. I would much rather focus on joy and love and gratitude in this exact moment.

That feels much, much better. :)



P.S. – A new post is up at my new A Year of Silence blog! I would love for you to read them. This project officially begins on January 1st. You can learn more about it here:

christine weekly special copyP.P.S. – One of my dearest friends, Christine Callahan Oke, is offering Laser-Focused Empowerment Sessions for just $29.95 (normally $97) this week only in the Soulful Life Sanctuary!

During your session, Christine will help you move forward in a chosen area of your life. Her practical, real-life wisdom and positive perspective will inspire you to step into your power and embrace life.

This special goes through the 29th, so be sure to order your discounted session before then! Click here to learn more.

Leaping into Silence

If we’ve been connected for a while here on Soul Speak, you may have noticed a shift in me over the last year. I’ve been doing much less and reflecting much more. I’ve been listening to my soul more often and have been doing my best to take my ego out of the driver’s seat. I’ve been taking better care of my tired body by resting and disconnecting from the outside world as much as possible. I’ve been remembering how important self care and self love truly are. And I’ve given myself permission to offer this care and love to … Continue reading

A Quiet Strength

I received an unsolicited email from someone yesterday that prompted me to write this post. In the message, a woman that I don’t know said that she had just watched my video for the Soulful Life Sanctuary. She said that my speaking voice didn’t match the voice that she imagined that I would have. She said that she had perceived me to be a “strong, dynamic, heart-ful, and powerful woman” and went onto say that she knew for a fact that my soft speaking voice wasn’t my “true, authentic voice.” Wow. At first, I was completely taken aback. I was pretty livid, actually. … Continue reading

Soulful Shout Out – Introducing Jerri Eddington!

I absolutely love the Soulful Shout Out series here on Soul Speak! I get to highlight and introduce you to beautiful people and their wonderful offerings! Today, I am happy to introduce you to my friend, Jerri Eddington! Jerri joined my Soul Shakers’ mastermind community early this year and the Soulful Life Sanctuary soon after, and so we’ve gotten to know each other quite well! I am inspired by her huge heart, her honesty, and her ability to bring her dreams to life. Jerri has been on quite a journey, which she shares more about in our interview below. She … Continue reading

Free Soul Clarity Message + $100 Off Coming Back to Life Ecourse!

***Thank you to everyone who participated this month! I’ll be back again on November 1st to do it again!*** Happy October! It’s that time again where I’ll pull one Soul Clarity Card for each person who leaves a comment below! I do this on the first day of every month, and it’s always so much fun to offer these messages straight from my soul to yours. Before we start the messages, I wanted to share this week’s Soulful Life Sanctuary shop special! (Each week, one soulful product/service is at least 1/2 off! Specials include intuitive/angel readings, soulful ecourses & ebooks, guided meditations, … Continue reading

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...