We’ve all said it. We’ve all thought it. We’ve all felt it. And we’ve all believed it.
The “I’ll be happy when…” illusion/trap.
“I’ll be happy when I meet my soulmate.”
“I’ll be happy when my finances all come together.”
“I’ll be happy when I quit my job and leap into my soul’s calling.”
“I’ll be happy when my body feels healthier.”
“I’ll be happy when I get to wherever it is that I want to get to. Then, everything will come together. Then, the stars will align. Then, life will be pure bliss, and I will be in absolute heaven. Until then, though, I guess I’ll just wait for happiness – postpone it since I know it’s just around the corner.”
Does any of this sound familiar to you? It certainly does to me.
I’ve been using the “I’ll be happy when…” phrase (both consciously and also subconsciously) for most of my life. In fact, I found myself using it just the other day when I was talking to my sweetie, Dan.
My dream is to move to the beach and to live a completely peaceful life there. And I know that this move is somewhere in my future, and I know that the ocean and I will be best friends when the time is right. And I know that I’ll be happy there.
But what about now? This moment? My present reality?
Why am I putting off happiness simply because I’m not exactly where I want to be?
I’ve been focusing on all of my dreams that are in the future and all of my lack of dreams that are in the present. But that’s not really fair – because when I stop and think about it, I have so many potential happiness inducers all around me. I’ve been so busy putting parameters around my own happiness that I just about missed embracing my currently available happiness.
It’s true that right here in this moment, my life doesn’t feel like a particularly good incubator for growing happiness. I’m currently sick with a chest cold; we still are taking care of a dog that we found who takes a lot of time and energy; I don’t currently live at the beach; my book is taking longer to write than I originally thought; I’m in my eighth month on the couch from adrenal fatigue….and, just as I was writing this, my cat puked all over our bed. Blah, blah, blah…
Yes, all of this is true. And yes, I could make a great case for why this isn’t the perfect time to feel happy.
But that really would make me miserable, wouldn’t it? And I actually don’t want to feel miserable. I want to feel happy.
So instead, I’m going to do my best to eliminate the “I’ll be happy when…” phrase from my vocabulary completely. I’m going to do my best to fully embrace all of the good in my life rather than focus on what’s not quite how I want it to be or focusing on how I hope my future will be.
And it’s really not hard to do once I make the decision to shift my focus:
- I am so happy that I have an amazing husband who loves me so beautifully.
- I am so happy that I have three sweet cats who make me laugh everyday.
- I am so happy that I have such a nurturing relationship with my mom.
- I am so happy that I have dear friends who love me for me.
- I am so happy that I get to spend all of this time on the couch – healing and resting and nurturing my soul.
- I am so happy that I live in such a beautiful place where I look out my back door and see a beautiful field and green mountains.
- I am so happy that I get to spend each day writing and creating – two things that feed my soul.
- I am so happy that I get to connect with others from all over the world – that we really truly see each other at the soul level.
- I am so happy that I am alive in this day and age – with all of the advances in technology that make all of this connection possible.
- I am so happy that I get to choose what I will focus on and what I will embrace.
- I am so happy that I am so happy. It feels good, and I love that I can do this any time I want to.
- I am so happy that I don’t have to wait for happiness. That I don’t have to wait for everything to line up perfectly and exactly how I planned for it to in order to feel at peace. I am so happy that I can be happy right here in this exact moment simply by choosing to be.
This is what I wish for all of us – to remember that happiness is a moment-by-moment choice. I forget that sometimes, and I’m so happy that my soul always, always, always bring me right back.
If you also have a tendency to get stuck in the “I’ll be happy when…” mindset, I would love to invite you to join me in removing this from your vocabulary, too. Let’s focus on being happy NOW!
You can learn all about it by clicking here.